To Forgive Is Divine

[Jasper Hale]

Jasper was nervous returning to the house after being gone several hours following the incident that took place. He wondered if Edward was even home . . . or if he was with Bella. Part of him hoped he was with Bella . . . but the less cowardly side of Jasper wanted to get through the confrontation, apologize and hopefully . . . that would be the end of it. After being convinced by Alice to return back to the house, he complied and was not hesitantly making his way there. Jasper knew full well that he had made a massive mistake . . . no, mistake was an understatement. It was unacceptable. He had not been ready to be there with Bella . . . he should have left so that she could have enjoyed her party without Jasper creating a scene and causing more guilt to Edward.

Jasper did not get all the way home, when he caught scent of Edward. Fortunate . . . and yet Jasper hesitated. He followed to where he knew that Edward was, and decided in this case, he would speak out instead of taking the easy way out and letting his thoughts be enough to gain Edward's forgiveness. "Edward?" He asked, seeing him, but making sure that he was in a mood to talk for Jasper, for he would entirely understand if his brother was in no emotional state to talk to the vampire who had nearly killed his loved one.

--- Tag Edward!---

[edward]

Bella didn't belong in his life. He didn't deserve her someone as wonderful as she was. She shouldn't have to go through what had just happen. It had been in Jasper's nature and Edward did not blame his brother. If anyone was to blame it was Edward he should have left long ago. He should have known this would happen some time or another. With James it had come so close he had almost been to late. She had almost died. Even changed. That was not something Edward could live with. Bella was to pure to be damned to this life. He would not allow it. She needed to live fully in her human life. Be human as long as she could. She did not deserve any of this. It was not right of him from the very start. He should have stopped long ago. But to leave Bella? The thought had crossed his mind on several occasions but to actually leave her pained him. He couldn't. But wouldn't it be the right thing?

Edward had always been conflicted with doing what was right. It was never right of Edward to be so involved with Bella. He had no right to take her into this life. To bring her into his life. She would have been safer if he had simply stayed away from her. If he had been strong enough to stay away from her. If he had been selfless. But no he was far to selfish for that and look at where it brought him. Bella could have so easily been killed tonight. Even by him! Bella's sweet scent was stronger to him than anyone else. He hadn't wanted to leave and have Carlisle take care of her. He should have been strong enough to stay with her. Strong enough to not be tempted by her scent. Hadn't this past spring meant anything to him? To really think she could b dead! He had thought about what he would have done even going to Italy. But that was in the past he couldn't stop what has happen. Nor could he allow anything like this to happen again.

Edward had to be strong enough to leave Bella. Everyone would agree it would be the best thing to do. Leaving Forks would be best. It would protect Bella. No harm would ever come to her again. He wouldn't allow anything like this to happen again the reason they would have to leave. Edward was not moving as fast as he normally did he just not feel like it right now. He was to full of guilt and what he had done to Bella. He had no right to bring Bella into this life. She was human and she deserved so much better than him. She deserved to have a normal life! She should have a normal life. Edward picked up Jasper's scent. He knew he probably felt horrible for what had happen. Edward did not blame Jasper how could he? It was Edward's own fault he knew it was in their nature. The first day Edward had met Bella he had wanted to kill her. He couldn't expect anything less of any of his family. "Jasper I don't blame you. It's not your fault." No Edward was at complete fault Edward knew this fully and completely.

[Jasper Hale]

Jasper was not convinced. He could feel the tremendous guilt from Edward, and that only made Jasper feel even more guilty. He needed to take full responsibility for his actions, and not be given forgiveness so easily when he knew it was his own weakness that had put Bella in such a dangerous situation. "It is not your fault either Edward." While Edward could read people's thoughts, Jasper could feel their emotions and he was not going to let his brother solely blame himself for what happened. "My actions should not be without consequences. I should have had more control than that. Please do not consider me without blame for what happened."

It was ironic. Jasper had come, preparing to gain Edward's forgiveness and now he was trying to convince him that it was his fault. Jasper hated this entire thing. He knew that if someone had tried to attack Alice, he would be furious. "I should have been stronger," he added, completely ashamed and embarrassed for what he had done. He could barley look Edward in the eye; he had no idea how he was going to face the others.

[edward]

It didn't matter what Jasper thought or said. It was Edward's fault. He shouldn't have been so involved with Bella. He knew what could have happen to her even before this. The past spring had been a painful reminder of just how close it could be. How close he had been to losing her and all because he had been foolish enough to bring her exposed. And now with Jasper it showed just how much Bella should not be apart of his life. How he shouldn't want her as he did. He had no right to take her from her normal life. It would have been best if he had left long ago if he had not let this go as far as it had. "It is I shouldn't have let myself get so involved with Bella as I have. She is not meant to be in this life. She deserves so much better." Bella didn't deserve this she should have a better life than the one he had put upon her. Rather she wanted it or not she shouldn't have to go through something like this ever again.

Edward would not blame Jasper. It was not his fault and nothing he said would ever change his mind. It was in their nature to act like Jasper had. Even Edward had been tempted by her blood but what happen last spring. Those thoughts kept reappearing it seemed. Just how close he had come to losing her and for something like this to happen yet again. "Jasper you are not at fault. It's in our nature to be temped you are no exception. I knew this and yet I allowed it to go on for so long." Edward should have never allowed this to happen. Edward had been prepared to leave after that incident but he simply could not bring himself to leave Bella. Could he now? Was he strong enough to actually leave her? He had to be. But just how could he leave Bella? She was so frail so vulnerable. But she would be better off without him or his family around. She would be safe.

Jasper was the newest to this life and it was more diffiuclt for him to resist human blood. Even knowing this Edward would not blame Jasper. Even if he had been strong enough would it really have changed anything? There was a chance something like this could happen later. There was so many possibilities so many situations that ran through Edward's mind. Just how bad it could have been he could not allow something like this to happen again. "There is a chance something like this could have happen to anyone of us. Something worse than what had happen." It could have been worse even though Edward couldn't live with himself it he was to lose Bella he knew he was still her greatest threat. Her blood was so sweet to him, so tempting. It could have easily been him instead of Jasper. Just how worse things could become. "I can't allow anything like this to happen again." Edward would not risk Bella he would not put her though anything like this again. She would be safe if he was gone. If they were all gone.

[Jasper Hale]

Jasper was not the best at verbally consoling people. The only way he was effective in making others feel better was with the use of his powers, which he did not over use. In this case, he knew that manipulating Edward's emotions were not going to help anyone. Once Jasper was out of sight, Edward would go back to feeling guilty and fearful for Bella`s nice, and Jasper would not let those emotions overwhelm his brother any more than they already were. "I can feel the strong affection you two have for each other, perhaps that she what she deserves, someone who cares about her as much as you do." Jasper didn't know if his advice -- or whatever one would call it -- was at all helpful, or perhaps foolish.

Jasper was still not prepared to be so easily let off the hook. "There was only one of us who attacked." Everyone else had been able to control themselves. Though it happened so quickly, Jasper remembered it well. He had seen the blood and pure instinct took over. Emmett had been strong enough to hold him back, Edward had been strong enough to stand close to her protectively, Alice had been strong enough to turn the other way and take Jasper out of the room, and Carlisle had been strong enough to bind her wounds. Jasper was the weakness; had he not been there, he was rather certain that nothing would have happened. "There had not been such a threat before. Everyone else managed to control themselves. My apologies Edward." Sorry did not even begin to cover it, but Jasper did not know what else to say. He knew Edward did not blame him, but Jasper was going to entirely blame himself.

The way Edward had said that, Jasper knew that he was ready to end things with her to protect her. But Jasper refused to be the reason he did that. If something else had happened, if it had not been his own fault, then Jasper would not be so unaccepting of this. "Edward, please, do not end your relationship with her because of my actions." He paused before continuing, hoping his next words would help Edward reconsider. "Alice and I are leaving for a little while." He waited to see if that would change Edward's decision at all, before continuing.

[edward]

Bella deserved someone better than him. She deserved to be loved by someone who didn't have to constantly be tempted by her blood. Who wouldn't worry they would lost control. "She deserves better than me. She needs someone who is alive. Someone who won't worry about losing their control around her." Edward could not doubt that he loved Bella but she needed to be safe. She needed a normal human life. Something he could never give her. Something that would never be given to her. Edward did not know how he could leave her. Edward loved Bella so deeply words could not describe how he felt. No one could ever love Bella as much as he loved her. No one could ever come close to what he felt. No human could even know or understand how strongly he felt for her. But Bella did deserve someone else. Someone much better than he was. He was a monster, a vampire and nothing he did could ever deny that. No matter how long he had fed off the blood of animals. He still wanted her blood even though he loved her deeply.

Anyone of them could have lost control. Edward knew this even if everyone had been in control it still could have happen to any of them. Even Edward had trouble not to lose control. He had wanted her blood but he could not harm Bella. He could never live with himself if he had. This was why they had to leave. Why they had to be away from Bella to give her a chance to be safe. To have a normal life. To have what she deserves. "Any of us could have lost control, Jasper." Edward knew how easily he could have lost control to simply give in the pull of Bella's scent of her blood. But he could not harm her. He would not allow himself to harm her. She shouldn't have had to go through this. "It was bond to happen. There was no preventing this." Edward didn't know how he could bring himself to leave Bella. The thought was so painful to be away from Bella. To leave her. To have nothing more to do with her. It would kill him. But he had to somehow. It would be for the best.

Jasper was wrong it was not because of him he wanted to leave. Why he wanted his entire family to leave. Bella deserved so much better. She needed a normal human life. She didn't need to be around him or his family. They only endangered her. Edward shook his head. It did not matter if Alice and Jasper left Edward was not changing his mind. Bella would have a safe normal life without them here. It would be for the best. No matter how much it would hurt to leave him. He didn't even know if he could if she would believe him. If he could lie. He didn't know how to make this easy on Bella how to actually leave her. He would have to think of something even if he did not want to. Even if it hurt to think of being without her. "Bella deserves a normal, human life. Something she can never have with me. It's not because of you. I knew this all along. Yet I was selfish. I can't allow myself to be with her anymore. She will be safer without me.: She could heal from this easily she was human. Time would help her, would help her move on. Even if Edward still had no idea how he was going to leave her. He had to for her protection.

[Jasper Hale]

Jasper knew there was no way to fix the situation. Edward's mind was made up, Jasper could feel it, and that only made him feel even worse about what had happened. "You did not lose control. I should have kept a distance." He should not have been there; there was no need to have been. It was like dangling meat in front of a hungry lion. Jasper was becoming more and more insecure about his ability to control himself around humans. What would have happened if she had cut herself in school? Jasper would have jeopardized the entire family. It was not safe for him to stay here and as much as he hated separating Alice from those she had created strong ties with . . . he knew she felt no regret or hesitation leaving with him. "Perhaps she deserves someone who loves her unconditionally." Jasper could feel it. He could feel how strong the bond was between him and Bella.

"It was not just any of us. It was no coincidence that it happened to be me. Everyone in the family adores her." -- Except Rosalie but why bring but exceptions right now -- "I overestimated my strength. Do not underestimate the strength of the others, or even yourself." He paused, already feeling the pain from him at the thought of leaving her. "Maybe you should see how you feel when part of the threat against her is absent." Mainly, when Jasper left. "Do not be so quick to decide because of what happened tonight. Please." Jasper could not remedy this situation . . . all he could do was plea to his brother not to devastate the family . . . or Bella . . . and most importantly, himself. . . because of what Jasper had done.

[edward]

It didn't matter if Jasper had kept his distance or not. Edward knew this was not the life Bella was meant to have. Edward should have known better than this. Last spring he had come close to losing her and still he stayed close by. He was far to selfish to have Bella. He didn't deserve her for she needed so much more. She should be able to live her life free of him or his family. She was in constant danger around them. He knew this yet he was to selfish! He took Bella when he had no right. "She deserves better than this Jasper. She always has. She needs to have a normal life. Without any interference from any of us." Edward knew this from the start. He hadn't wanted to get close in the start he hadn't meant to get so involved and he had. But he had and he shouldn't have. It was not right of him. "I knew this from the start. I should have left her long ago. She deserves so much better."

Edward never would deny how much he loved Bella. Words simply could not describe his feelings and no humans could understand. Even so Bella needed someone who was better. Someone who wouldn't worry about hurting her, who wouldn't be afraid to lose control around her. Someone she could grow old with someone who was human who was alive. And that was not Edward. Edward would never be what Bella deserved. "She needs someone who can have a normal life with her. Someone who does deserve her." It would hurt Edward to ever imagine her with someone else. That pain alone was painful enough but if she was happy then wasn't it worth it? If she could be happy having her normal, human life. Like she was always meant to have. It didn't matter to Edward if it was Jasper that had lost control he knew from the start this could not work out. And he was right it could not. Bella needed so much more.

"Jasper." Edward didn't have words Didn't he understand it was never right of him to go out and take Bella? That he was the reason for all of this? That he was the one that had wanted Bella's company had wanted to know her more. That had fallen in love with her? And that none of it was right. None of it was suppose to happen. Because Bella should have a normal life. A life without him. "I don't underestimate anyone's strength Bella simply cannot be with us. I took her when I had no right. She deserves better. We can't stay here and endanger her any longer. We have to give her a chance at a normal life." There was no changing Edward's mind he was not going to reconsider anything. They would all live within a few days. It didn't matter if Jasper and Alice left right away or not. "Tonight simply added to reasons we should leave. I knew this from the start. Last spring I should have left. But I didn't." Edward was far to selfish he put Bella through so much and he had no right to do so.