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Post by ♧Rachael Black♧ on Apr 30, 2009 19:21:28 GMT -5
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Rachael laughed at the name coming from him but it was a light happy laugh. "If you want to, I don't mind." She looked back in him while the chicken finished it's last few moments in the cooker. The nick name, something so girl like, come from someone so . . . man like. "back home-" meaning her apartment "-I have about a hundred." She told him, the shrugged not wanting to get into how she wanted to SEE the places and not just see them on a card. "Do you collect anything?" She asked wanting to know more about him, and using his questions as a way to find out. ((Icons not of my own making. Credit goes to 'Leah' of MP.)) |
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Post by Paul Lahote on Apr 30, 2009 19:28:53 GMT -5
 --------------------------------- ----------------------------------- "Whats Jake's nickname, rosebud?" Paul asked laughing. Oh he had to know what it was . . . it would be a whole new way to piss off Jake. The other pack members would get a kick out of it too. Paul's laughter died down when she said 'back home'. Back home. That made him a little sad . . . that she did not consider this place her home; that she considered her apartment, where Mr. Joshua was, home. "You don't consider this place your home?" He asked her, trying to keep a level tone but there was a bit of sadness and irritation in it. He didn't want to start a fight with her, but it was a difficult thing for him to let go of. It was enough for him to ignore her question and toss the post card onto the table, not seeing any more amusement in the nicknames she had revealed to him. |
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Post by ♧Rachael Black♧ on Apr 30, 2009 19:42:29 GMT -5
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Rachael was not going tot ell him Jacob's name. That was private to her brother and with Paul's tone it wouldn't turn out well. When he asked about 'home' she turned back to the food and pulled the chicken out to let it cool before she would shred it for the nachos. "This is my childhood home, and this is my father's house were I will always be welcome." She said in a very no-commitmental tone, not confirming or denying his words. She knew there was so much to talk about but didn't want to see pushy around him and start asking for more then he was ready to give and drive him away. ((Icons not of my own making. Credit goes to 'Leah' of MP.)) |
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Post by Paul Lahote on Apr 30, 2009 19:53:02 GMT -5
--------------------------------------------------------------------What did that even mean? "Its where you grew up," he added, wondering just how dismissive she was of this place. "But hey, its fine. I get it. Your home is back there, with Mr. Joshua and your goddaughter." His voice was filled with sarcasm; he was not happy. He would have thought that she at least considered this place her primary home . . . maybe he had not done enough for her to feel that way. But it also raised the question in his mind, would she ever live back here in La Push? "Guess I just," he shrugged, pausing mid way in his sentence. "Guess I didn't realize how comfortable you were over there, and with the people over there."
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Post by ♧Rachael Black♧ on Apr 30, 2009 21:08:12 GMT -5
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Rachael turned to face him and her face was desperate for a moment, as she wanted him to so badly understand her next words. "Yes, I am comfortable, I am--I am safe, there." She said paused while thinking of how to phrase this, "You might not recall who I was in high school, but I wasn't fun. I was a 15 year old mother of three."
She blinked quickly so there would be no tears, "Staying here, I am so afraid that if I stay here, that girl . . . she will all I ever be. " Rachael shook her head slowly. "When my Mother died, I somehow, took over her role. The only free time, I got was when I went to school. When I left La Push for school, it was all free time. I was 17 when I left and suddenly no one relied on me. I didn't have to set an example, or be strong for a sick father, or care for a baby brother, or get good grades because there was no money for anything more. For the first time since my Mother's death I was Rachael Black."
"I didn't have to stay home every day and get things done that had to be done. I didn't have the weight of the world on me." She had not meant to be this dramatic but it had happened with out her helping it. She felt like she was complaining about having to care for her family and she wasn't. She loved them more then life, but they had just left to much on her when she was to young. She had felt old and lifeless, in the last year she was here, and had not known it until she had gotten away.
Since that was already out in the opened she went ahead and added, "I can't stay here forever, Paul." She was afraid to. ((Icons not of my own making. Credit goes to 'Leah' of MP.)) |
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Post by Paul Lahote on Apr 30, 2009 21:33:06 GMT -5
--------------------------------------------------------------------He listened silently to her explanation. He could not relate to her situation, he did not know what it was like to care for so many people. But he just wished that she would not leave; that she would want to stay here with her family . . . with him. Perhaps it was selfish of him, but he could not help himself. Paul was used to doing things the way he wanted to, and maintaining a relationship was a lot more work than he ever thought. "I realize that. I understand that you don't want to take care of your family for the rest of your life." He went closer to her and took her hand in his.
"Let someone else take care of you for a change then. I'll take care of you. You're so much more than that girl, haven't you discovered that already? Can't you come back home after finding out who you are, and who you can still be here." He was desperate to try and convince her to stay, but her last words made it all the more difficult. He released her hand but did not step away from her. "Why not? Why can't you Rachael. There are people here who love you more than any of your friends could." Him included, but he was not going to say that just yet.
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Post by ♧Rachael Black♧ on Apr 30, 2009 21:47:04 GMT -5
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He would take care of her? People who loved her? Was he referring to him self? She liked them words almost as much as she liked hearing her name from him. She held onto his hand tightly, as if that alone would be what saved her. "I---" She thought for a moment, "I can't explain why I am afraid to stay here, Paul. Even with my family's love, I still. . . . I want more." She wanted a life. A fun life, that she could look back on and love. She wanted the life Paul had. The freedom he had. She wanted Paul. "It would take another monologue to try to explain and the chicken is getting cold." She teased but didn't smile. She didn't pull away however, just leaned into his and inhaled deeply as if she could smell him and loved the smell of him. He always smelled of adventure, and the great out doors, and the beach and . . . random foods. ((Icons not of my own making. Credit goes to 'Leah' of MP.)) |
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Post by Paul Lahote on Apr 30, 2009 21:52:50 GMT -5
--------------------------------------------------------------------He wanted to make this decision easy for her, but he knew it would never be. Even if he told her he loved her, even if he asked her to spend the rest of her life with him . . . she would always be torn between two worlds. When she leaned in he did the same and kissed her for only a short time. When he pulled away he looked at her intensely, before his expression eased up. "I just don't want to lose you . . . not to some big city, or Paris, or Hawaii, or some other adventure." One that he wasn't part of. Who would have thought that checking her mail would lead to such intense topics. But they were the elephant in the room. He knew that they would come up sooner or later. He just hated the thought of her going when she had just arrived.
He tried not to get upset with the whole thing. He could not be mad at her, so he needed to let it go . . . for now. "That chicken smells good," he told her, mostly because it was just something to say; a ligher subject than what had consumed their conversation.
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Post by ♧Rachael Black♧ on Apr 30, 2009 22:04:44 GMT -5
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He didn't want to lose her? Rachael moved quickly forward to kiss him before pulling back and blushing. It was one of the first times she made the first move. She wondered what he would say if she told him that even before he became Mr Perfect she had thought of him while in the city. "Why don't you read my any more letters while I shred the hell out of the chicken and we can finally eat." She smiled up at him trying to help lighten the mood. "I know you have to be about to faint from hunger. You have not eaten anything in ten minutes!" She teased him and got a knife out of the drawer and started chopping it into fine strands. ((Icons not of my own making. Credit goes to 'Leah' of MP.)) |
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Post by Paul Lahote on Apr 30, 2009 22:25:01 GMT -5
--------------------------------------------------------------------He was suprised, but delighted that she was the one who made the first move. "You know me too well," he commented when teased him about not having eaten in so long. It was sad, but true. The smell of the food was making it all the more hungry. "The chicken is lookin' good too." He went back to the box and pulled out another letter. "You got a letter from Georgetown University," he said while he opened the envelope. It was a long letter and he read it in silence. He did not read any of it aloud, at first it was because it was so wordy, but then because he was processing it. They had just been talking about her moving away and now . . . this letter.
"You were looking for a job in a large city with a fast pace environment." It was both a statement and a question. He knew it were true for he was quoting it straight from the letter, but his mood fell a little when he realized she had not told him, and now since she was accepted, was she going to take it? Surely not.
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Post by ♧Rachael Black♧ on Apr 30, 2009 22:35:56 GMT -5
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She almost sliced her finger open at the name of the school, and had she not paused long enough to try NOT to cut her finger off she would have spun around and grabbed it from him. As it was she was reading it all and she could only watch his face. She wondered if she was right when she thought this was hurting him. They had known each other for so little time, how could this be hurting them both so much so fast. She only just watched him with a guilty look on her face.
She had been looking, before she went to the beach that day, and before Paul looked at her in a way that made her hear skip beats. She had stopped looking and been distracted by a summer love in a way. She wasn't sure what to say so she only watched him closely, trying to process a reply that didn't sound emotional or needy or apologetic. ((Icons not of my own making. Credit goes to 'Leah' of MP.)) |
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Post by Paul Lahote on Apr 30, 2009 22:48:05 GMT -5
--------------------------------------------------------------------Paul finished reading the entire thing, not even understanding half the words. He couldn't believe it. He just stood there, staring at the letter, suddenly feeling as if the world was against them. He just stared at it, trying to calm himself down. He had to ensure he did not phase. "Well, I guess a congratulations is in order." His voice was very sarcastic. He knew he should be moe supportive and be happy for her, but how could he be? He was just annoyed that things were getting more and more complicated. She had gotten the job though, and now she knew it too.
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Post by ♧Rachael Black♧ on Apr 30, 2009 23:10:57 GMT -5
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Rachael dropped her gaze and stood there silently again, looking guiltily at the floor. She knew she should speak up and say something but she wasn't sure what a girl said to a man like Paul in order to make this right between then. She didn't know were to being and she was running out of boldness today. She wrapped her around her self, while standing their thinking. Bold. She needed to be bold and tell Paul she loved him and wanted to try to be with him, and maybe see if he was enough for her to live in a small town.
Looking up at him, she took in a deep breath, "Paul, I--" She stopped relising to late she wasn't this bold. She didn't have it in her. Not in this moment were her heart was on the edge of breaking. She walked a few steps closer to see if it helped but only felt more at risk for a broken heart as the closer she got the more she wanted just him.
Taking the letter from him, gently she put it and the other letters in the box. "The chicken is done. You can make you a plate." She put the lib on the box and looked up at him. "The sauce is--" She paused for a moment, taking some safe breaths in and out, "--in the microwave." Then dropping her eyes to the floor and squaring her shoulders she walked past him to exit the room. "I'm sorry." She said softly to him. "I wish. . . . " Yeah, I wish and if onlys. . . . ((Icons not of my own making. Credit goes to 'Leah' of MP.)) |
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Post by Paul Lahote on Apr 30, 2009 23:23:06 GMT -5
--------------------------------------------------------------------Her reaction devestated him. Mostly because from the way she was acting, it meant she was seriously considering taking this job. Where did that leave them? He would be selfish right now, because his entire life may be leaving La Push for good. The chicken? For once Paul did not care about the food. He looked at her, making sure he kept his full focus on Rachael, even though she was shifting uncomfortably herself. He made no effort to get the food. He just stood there.
When she attempted to leave, he quickly grabbed her arm and looked at her. He was filled with so many emotions, and no matter what she chose to do . . .he would always love her unconditionally. Maybe now, he needed to say that. He just looked at her intensely. "I love you," he said in a low voice before letting go of her arm so that if she wanted to leave, she could. He took a few steps away from her, closer to the microwave but had no intention of opening it. He felt like his heart was breaking because if she left . . . . . if she left, what became of them?
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Post by ♧Rachael Black♧ on Apr 30, 2009 23:33:09 GMT -5
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Dropping the box in her hands she following him as he stepped back, tears already coming over her cheeks (damn her self for crying when happy!) she she basically though her self in his arms and kissed him passionately. Her arms held him so tightly that she thought she might hurt him but didn't seem to care. Paul loved her! Paul! The Paul that she wanted to love her since forever, had just said he loved her which meant every stupid comment she had brushed off today wasn't her imagination it was REAL! Paul loved her!
-P-A-U-L- -L-O-V-E-D- -H-E-R-!-!-!-!-
Pulling back but keeping her face close to his (not easy with him being so damn tall) she laughed, "Really? So fast?" ((Icons not of my own making. Credit goes to 'Leah' of MP.)) |
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Post by Paul Lahote on Apr 30, 2009 23:52:32 GMT -5
--------------------------------------------------------------------Paul returned the kiss. It was passionate, and filled with a urgency as he could not express in words how much he cared for her. He wrapped his arms around her, not feeling the strength which she was using herself, but knew he had to control his own strength. He could break her easily. He did not let go of her when she ended their kiss, and her laughter was so light and refreshing to hear after all the tension that once filled the room. But that did not mean he forgot about why he was so upset to begin with.
He lowered his head, so that their foreheads were touching. He did not hear her say it back, so perhaps that meant she did not feel the same way. Was that it? Was she not completely committed and was willing to leave so easily? "Yes. There are some things that I am so sure of, and this is one of them."
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Post by ♧Rachael Black♧ on May 1, 2009 0:03:31 GMT -5
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Almost lightheaded from the kiss, and the news she laughed again. She was still thinking it over and over in her head. his voice when he said it and how it felt to hear it. She framed his face with her hands and kissed him again in the way she just had before managing to clear her mind enough to phrase her next statement well. She looked into his eyes wanting to know this was, the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. "I feel in love you, Paul when I was fourteen, and you didn't even know my name. I have loved you ever since." She wondered how he would react to knowing how she felt back then, when they were 'kids'. ((Icons not of my own making. Credit goes to 'Leah' of MP.)) |
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Post by Paul Lahote on May 1, 2009 0:39:54 GMT -5
--------------------------------------------------------------------He responded in the same way as he did when they kissed just a few moments ago. He raised his hand so that it too was touching her cheek and he caressed it while they were locked in an intimate embrace. Hearing the beautiful words of her saying she loved him too, it was all he needed to hear. The sincerity of her words eliminated any doubt that she did not feel the same way. But . . . for how long had she felt this way? Years. It had been years. How could he have been so blind?
"For that long?" He asked in a soft voice; it may have sounded like a stupid question but he was shocked. He desperately wished he could have said the same. He wanted to say something though, so that he would not appear so insensitive. "I love you as if I've loved you my entire life." That much was true. He did love her more than himself, more than anything.
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Post by ♧Rachael Black♧ on May 2, 2009 11:38:50 GMT -5
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It seemed a bit unreal to Rachael, but not in a way where she would not believe him. More in a OH WOW, way. Paul Moran loved her, and she was, after so many years of silently watching him, admitting she loved him back, as she was in his arms. "I can't believe it." But her voice sounded like she did, it was happy. She laughed again, and just looked up at him, the past stressful comments almost forgotten for the moment. She wasn't about to let Paul go now. If he changed his mind, and she was slightly worried under her happiness that he would, he would never be able to escape her. She would make Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction look tame. ((Icons not of my own making. Credit goes to 'Leah' of MP.)) |
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Post by Paul Lahote on May 2, 2009 12:18:09 GMT -5
--------------------------------------------------------------------Paul still could not shake the fear that she would leave him. Though she seemed so happy right now . . . how important was her career to her? "Well believe it," he said with a smile as he kissed the top of her head. He did not want to bring up the letter again, he just wanted to enjoy this moment where they had both truly expressed how they felt about one another. Though it had revealed itself in a less than romantic situation, it was still spoke. And that was all that mattered to him. "Like I said, I've never been more sure of anything else in my entire life. I just wish it hadn't taken me this long to realize it." She had liked him for so long . . . he still could not believe that. She still liked him after the neglectful way he had treated her. He was most definitely, the luckiest guy in the entire world.
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Post by ♧Rachael Black♧ on May 2, 2009 14:47:23 GMT -5
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She laughed lightly, seeming just in a wonderful mood now. Paul loved her. Paul. Paul loved her. Paul. Paul loved her. Paul. . . . and it went from there. On and on and on in her head. Paul. Paul loved her. WOW. Rachael Moran? Yeah, Mrs. Paul Moran.
While part of her knew there was much to think about before she could think about linking there names for real, in this moment there was no city, and no small town, and sick father, nor a family she both loved and felt trapped by. There was only Rachael and Paul. . . . and now cold lunch. "Your not the same guy that I knew in high school." She said softly as if more to her self, but she was looking right at him. "Your something better." ((Icons not of my own making. Credit goes to 'Leah' of MP.)) |
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Post by Paul Lahote on May 3, 2009 10:27:22 GMT -5
--------------------------------------------------------------------Paul could not argue with her words. He had been an ass in high school. He was one of those immature guys who took pride in how much of an ass he was. But now . . . he was a guy who was madly in love. Who felt like he wouldn't be able to breathe without this woman near him. Who would have thought Paul Moran would turn out to be such a sap. But he was a happy sap. "You made me better," he told her, looking down at her excited expression, his eyes showing nothing but love for her. It was true. She had made him a much better person than he had been. He had noticed his change in behavior; he had been getting in less fights -- when she was here -- . . . he was less edgy -- when she was here -- and he was genuinly happy -- when she was here -- . Now, how could he ever bear if if she left?
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Post by ♧Rachael Black♧ on May 4, 2009 0:43:49 GMT -5
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When he blamed his change on her she opened her mouth to tell him no, it was him and she wasn't responsible for this. The tears that stung her eyes, however, stopped her dead in her tracks. "Darn it, Paul! You made me cry!" She said and buried her face in his shirt. . . his wet shirt. . . Wet, hot shirt. She was happy, and smiling as she cried but men never seemed up liked happy tears either. Rachael still, couldn't stop them. "I'm a mess! Eat your lunch before it gets hopeless, and I am going to wash my face." ((Icons not of my own making. Credit goes to 'Leah' of MP.)) |
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Post by Paul Lahote on May 4, 2009 11:20:30 GMT -5
--------------------------------------------------------------------Suddenly, Paul laughed at her accusatory remark. "I just hope those are happy tears," he teased, knowing they were but also wondering if they were a mix of tears of sadness, in case she had already decided to take this horrible job that was going to force her over seas. He rubbed her back as she buried her head in his shirt, not even feeling it dampen from her tears. "For once, I'm in no rush to eat," he said smiling, feeling that he could stay like this for much longer; no worries, no responsibilities, just holding the woman he loved, and now, she knew it too. He slightly pulled away so that he was looking at her, only to wipe her tears away with the thumb of his hand. "You look beautiful." How could describe herself as a mess? She didn't look like one . . . not to him.
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Post by ♧Rachael Black♧ on May 4, 2009 22:24:14 GMT -5
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"Oh, Paul." She said and shook her head, "I will be right back." She was shorter then him so when she leaned up she only kissed his chin and then pulled back, turning and picking up her mess of letters and papers (Even the one he tossed to the side from Joshua) and and put them on the box. She paused to read over the letter of the job once, a quick skim, before folding it neatly and putting it on top.
She carried them to the other room, then went to wash her face and smile into the mirror. Paul loved her, and she loved him. Paul loved La Push, and she loved him. Coming back into the room she smiled at him. "How's the food?" ((Icons not of my own making. Credit goes to 'Leah' of MP.)) |
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Post by Paul Lahote on May 5, 2009 15:10:30 GMT -5
-------------------------------------------------------------------- Paul smiled, watching her leave and once she did, the smell of the chicken nachos filled the room. He forced the thoughts of the letters to the back of his mind, though it was easier said than done. She just looked so happy right now, and he didn’t want to argue with her anymore. They had spent moments before arguing, and he hated it. So he did not watch her pick up the letters. Instead, he took the plate of food at sat at the table that was now cleared. When she left, he ate. . . and ate . . . and ate some more. "Delicious!" He said with a full mouth before swallowing. He could have eaten the whole thing in a matter of seconds, but saved some for her . . . she was probably the only one he saved food for. "Definitely the best plate of chicken nachos I’ve ever had." He loved her food. He loved everything about her. "Try some," he said, holding the plate towards her. |
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Post by ♧Rachael Black♧ on May 5, 2009 19:07:16 GMT -5
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Rachael had been slightly worried about how things might be when she came back but she was glad to see he was still in as good as mood as she felt in. Paul loved her. It made her happy to know this. More then happy it made her walk a little taller and think a little further into her future in La Push. Would she stay for him? Would he understand her needs and plan mini-getaways for them. Day trips to the closer city near by or something. Was he even thinking that far. Guys were such complex things and they didn't even know it! "I am glad you like cold chicken nachos." She teased, "I shall make a note of it in my dairy and cook it often. 'Let food sit for half and hour then serve'." ((Icons not of my own making. Credit goes to 'Leah' of MP.)) |
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Post by Paul Lahote on May 6, 2009 18:16:10 GMT -5
-------------------------------------------------------------------- He chuckled at her teasing remarks. "No matter how warm or cold, burnt or raw, I always love your food. Its the best food I've ever had! Better than Emily's. Just don't tell her I said that . . . I may never be allowed to eat there again," he said, clearly exaggerating the consequences of making such a comment. He popped another piece of chicken into his mouth. Paul had never tried cooking . . . nor did he have any plans to. He would probably burn down the kitchen. |
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Post by ♧Rachael Black♧ on May 6, 2009 18:42:24 GMT -5
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"mmmHmmm" She said in a playful tone. "I just bet she would ban you from her house." She didn't know Emily well but Paul had spoken of her before. She was Sam's soon-to-be-wife. Sam's ex-girlfriend's cousin. Rachael had mot moved in the same circled as Leah, Sam and Paul, but she had enough classes with Leah to know all about Sam. It had been all Leah would talk about. At lest they found all this out before they had gotten married. ((Icons not of my own making. Credit goes to 'Leah' of MP.)) |
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Post by Paul Lahote on May 10, 2009 10:15:37 GMT -5
-------------------------------------------------------------------- "She would! Who knows how defensive she can get about her cooking." Ever since he had imprinted on Rachael, he had been spending less and less time at Emily's and more and more time at the Black's residence . . . even when Ray wasn't here. It just felt like another home to him. "Then again, who needs her," he added smiling. He certainly didn't anymore. "Sit down, stay a while," he said, pulling her towards him so that she was seated on his lap as he sat in the chair. He put one arm around her waist and rested the other on her leg. |
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