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Post by ♧Rachael Black♧ on Dec 15, 2013 21:38:17 GMT -5
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Talking was good. Most the time. "Yeah, that would be really good." She turned to pick up her coat since it was late and her Dad was sleeping. It would be best if they had any conversation that had a chance of getting loud outside. "We can just go to Jake's work rooms." It was a garage of sorts, but there was a heater to keep them . . . well, to keep her warm. Paul never seemed to get cold.
Rachael lead the way, and once inside bent down to turn it on and then up so it would warm the room quicker. It was only then she looked at Paul, but this time she didn't say anything. The last thing she wanted to do was fight, and she was even tempted to just start talking about something else and just pretend today never happened, but that would be hiding. Rachael Black was no longer a coward. |
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Post by Paul Lahote on Dec 15, 2013 22:10:50 GMT -5
Paul felt a bit of relief when she said that it was a good idea. Seemed he got one thing right. And of course when she agreed . . . not that he was good at taking no for an answer. He nodded his head and followed her to Jacob's workplace. He then watched her put the lights on and turn the heat up and then . . . she stood there. Silently. Was he meant to talk first? He supposed that made sense, since he'd been the one to ask her to talk. And he stalled for as long as he could. Yet now came the problem of . . . what to say. He still hadn't gotten the words properly formed in his head. There were so many directions this conversation could take . . . and while he just wanted to kiss her and forget the argument they had gotten into . . . wait. Why didn't he just do that?
Looking at her now though, he knew that she wasn't that kind of girl either. One who he could just brush aside a fight with. They had to talk it out. That was what being in a . . . what was the word . . . relationship was all about, right? Wasn't it? . . . Maybe? "Look Ray," he began, taking a step toward her. "I didn't mean to upset you before." That was one thing he could be completely honest about. He never wanted to be the reason she cried, and while he couldn't apologize for his words, he did feel bad that he had brought tears to her eyes. "Its just that . . . its hard ya know." Hard for her to leave. Having to watch her leave and not being able to do anything about it. He could start with that, right? Take it from there? Wait to see how she would react . . . whether she was made at him, waiting for him to say more, or just . . . well, he didn't know. Which was why he just waited for her verbal or non verbal repsonse to his words so far.
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Post by ♧Rachael Black♧ on Dec 15, 2013 22:36:20 GMT -5
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He still didn't come closer to her, like before, and hold her. He started calm, and explained that he didn't mean to hurt her before, and that this was just hard for him. Had that not been what they were saying? "I know. It's hard for me too." Which was what she had tried explaining, and after pouring her heart out as best as she could and as much as she had ever done it before, he had given her an ultimatum. If you love me, stay.
Rachael wasn't sure she could just do it again right now. Not this soon after everything had happened. He had just ignored everything she said instead of trying to meet her half way. Because of this she was hesitant to try to explain herself again, or say more on the subject of her unmade mind. She would need him to do the talking, and set the tone for this. Rachael only hoped he would tell her what she hoped to hear.
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Post by Paul Lahote on Dec 15, 2013 23:07:21 GMT -5
She said it was hard for her too, and he knew that he hadn't considered that. "I guess I didn't really think about that," he admitted. Think about it from her perspective, since he was stubbornly stuck in his own mindset. Which, he partly still was. But this time, he wanted to make things better and not start a fight. She was here for a while, maybe he still have time to convince her. Maybe springing on her the day she got back wasn't the best thing to do. Even though she may not feel as broken as he did when they were apart -- for complex wolf-related reasons -- didn't mean he should totally dismiss how she felt. Even he knew how wrong that was. He tried to think of what to say next, since it was up to him to take the lead with the conversation. Which . . . made sense. He had come here, he had asked her to talk, now he needed to make good on both things.
"I don't really think about a lot of things," he added, attempting to make a bit of a joke even though it was true. He knew he was impulsive, and didn't think before he spoke or acted. He didn't try to change that about himself, but Rachael made him want to be a better person . . . even if it was just for her and around her. As he began to speak his next words, he started walking toward her. "But I know a few things. And what I do know is that I care about you, a lot. And that isn't gonna change, no matter how much time goes by." He stopped when he was standing right in front of her, letting his words about how he felt come out and hoping they didn't sound lame.
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Post by ♧Rachael Black♧ on Dec 15, 2013 23:27:40 GMT -5
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He finally came closer while trying to explain himself in a calm and adult manner. It made her feel better about everything, and when he stopped she took the last steps to step into him, and wrap her around around his middle. He said he cared about her, and she believed it. It was in the way he looked at her, and treated her. How he took care of her and made her feel safe. Made her feel loved, even if that wasn't what he felt, yet.
"Paul, I've never felt this way about anyone before. I don't want to hurt you." She didn't want to disappoint him either, which was why she was willing to try once more. "You might not over think things, but I do. I'm not asking for forever, but just some time. I am even planning to stay here while thinking, but . . . I do need to think, and made the decision after fulling thinking on it before I can settle anywhere." Could he understand that?
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Post by Paul Lahote on Dec 15, 2013 23:46:05 GMT -5
When she wrapped her arms around him, he felt that instant comfort of being with her. He returned the gesture by wrapping his arms around her too, holding her close to him, taking in her scent, and letting everything about her soak in him. He knew she belonged here with her, but he also knew that it wasn't like he could tie her down and force her to stay here. She was going to do what she needed do, and he would just have to deal with that. That didn't mean he wasn't going to try; that he wasn't going to fight for her to stay. He just knew that he had to go about it in a better way rather than getting angry. He had to show her how much he cared about her. He stayed quiet for a bit, taking in her words and trying to think of the right ones to say back.
"Whatever you decide Ray, I'm with you." He hadn't exactly planned to say those words, but he had. Realizing after he spoke them how much they could entail. He could have just said he would move with her -- leave the pack -- if she decided not to stay. That he would be emotionally with her if she did leave and he stayed back. Neither were things he felt capable of doing, yet he didn't regret his words. He would stand by them and just be with her, and desperately hope that she made the decision that he longed for. "Cause I love you." And those words he hadn't planned either. They just slipped out but as before, he didn't regret them. For once, his impulsive tongue seemed to be helping him vocalize how he felt about her. He didn't know if this made him sound like a babbling moron, or if she even would find any comfort in what he was saying. But he wasn't going to apologize for them . . . not when he meant them.
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Post by ♧Rachael Black♧ on Dec 16, 2013 13:42:23 GMT -5
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Finally he was holding her, and he felt good! It felt right in so many ways, and all the doubts that had begin to come to her out of her own over thinking things disappeared under his strength. "Whatever you decide Ray, I'm with you." She felt herself in hale sharply, and almost a silent gasp. He would leave with her? If she could not stay he would go with her? She never would have asked this of him. Rachael knew Paul too well. He belonged here. It was in his blood, and his heart. Yet he was willing to give it all up because he wanted to be with her. He would take that risk!
"Cause I love you."
Because he loved her! Paul loved her! Paul who'd been the only guy she'd thought of in high school. Paul was was the egotistical and arrogant charmer loved her out of every girl he had met--and she's a fool into thinking he had not met quite a bit. Rachael knew these words did not come easy for him. That he never said them just because. It meant something when he did. "I love you too, Paul. So very much." It was why she was so confused.
But there was one thing she wasn't confused on anymore. She knew what she wanted him. Paul. Rachael moved back just enough to be able to stretch up--and up--to kiss him. She let it show him how much she loved him, and wanted to be with him forever. Her hands framing his face.
When she pulled back, and again reached for his head to lead him to the old couch that was in the garage, Rachael found herself smiling brightly. "I love you. And I have no doubts in that. I want to be with you, tonight and forever." Her hands let go of his while she took the coat off and tossed it to the ground a few feet away. "I am not going to stop you this time." Just so they were clear. Moving her hands to his shirt, Rachael began pulling it up, but he was too tall for her to get it over his head, so the next move was his.
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Post by Paul Lahote on Dec 16, 2013 21:07:01 GMT -5
Hearing her say she loved him . . . well, Paul wasn't sure how to describe just how wonderful it felt to be told that by her. That she loved him, and that they would be together despite what she seemed so sure of before he'd imprinted on her. It was one thing for her to leave, but it would have been far more painful if the feeling hadn't been mutual. Not that Rachael had ever given him a reason to think that. He returned the kiss, making sure that he lowered his head as much as he could so she wouldn't have to reach too high -- even though he supposed technically she still did. She pulled away all too soon but her next words and actions then made him pause for a moment.
Was that all she had needed to hear from him? That he loved her? Would it help convince her to stay? He wasn't going to ask that right now because that wasn't why he had said the words. And it wasn't because of what she was suggesting now either . . . though had Paul known, maybe he would have said them sooner. He was led to the couch and watched as she took off her coat. He wanted to ask if she was sure, but was far too distracted to think about talking right now. Plus, he knew her. If she wasn't sure, she wouldn't do doing this right now. When she started the process of removing his shirt, Paul finished it, taking it and tossing it to the side before leaning forward to kiss her again, this time letting his desire be far more evident in the kiss.
He began to lean forward, gently pushing her on the couch, and when her upper body was against it, he lifted her legs up onto the couch as well, kicking off his shoes, and creating a similar position . . . one that they had been in previously in her living room earlier today. He didn't want to waste any time, and his actions were mostly fueled by the burning desire and need for her. One that he'd had since the moment he'd seen her on the beach that day, and that feeling had only grown stronger every single moment since then. Instead of letting his hands wander under her shirt, he took hold of the bottom of it and began to pull it up over her head, forcing himself to break the contact of their lips . . . but it would be so worth it.
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Post by ♧Rachael Black♧ on Dec 16, 2013 21:46:00 GMT -5
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Paul helped her in removing his shirt, and before long he helped her right back where all this had started earlier. On the couch. Instead of trying to get his hand under her shirt, this time he pulled it off, and she felt a little embarrassed, but still safe with him. He was the first man to see her without anything on.
Her hands moved to cover herself at first, but then moved to his shoulders. He felt as strong as he looked. And almost seemed warmer then every before. Her leg slid up from resting on the couch to hood over his thigh, allowing him to better fit int he vee of her body. She felt warm, and knew her heart was racing. "Paul." He loved her! He would go anywhere with her if she could not find happiness outside of him here. And she wanted too. She wanted to find something here to help her stay. "I love you."
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Post by Paul Lahote on Dec 16, 2013 22:38:12 GMT -5
Paul was trying to make sure he didn't lose too much of his control, not wanting to her hurt considering the significant size difference between the two of them. Yet it was so hard to think in these moments, when she was filling him with such passion and need. Earlier today he had let himself react to seeing her after so long and had difficulty in restraining himself. Now, it felt different. Not only because she was said it was ok, but because they seemed to be on a different emotional level. One that three words had created. He felt more than saw her move her leg, and Paul settled more comfortably in his position over her.
One hand moved over her exposed skin, once again feeling the softness of it, this time better than he had earlier today. His other hand began to slide down her upper leg, moving toward her inward thigh. He heard her say he loved her again, and now that he had said the words to her, they came with more ease. "I love you too," he said in a low voice. Not because he didn't want to say them louder, but because he was rather distracted at the moment and decided to occupy his lips by pressing them against hers as he began to slide her pants down.
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Post by ♧Rachael Black♧ on Dec 16, 2013 23:19:30 GMT -5
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"I love you too" She smiled, finding it easier to be exposed to his gaze with him repeating the words to her. Of course she believed him. She felt it in his gaze, and touch. Saw it in his smile, and willingness to spend so much time with her. His want to keep her close. He loved her.
Rachael felt him begin to pull down her pants, and she shifted and lifted to allow him more ease in doing it. Her hands moved down his sides to tug his own pants, though with him pressing her into the cushions she could not send them far. So instead she let her hands trail up his back and hold him closer. Breaking the kiss, she gasped in air, as her head tilted back. "I think it might be a good time to tell you that I've not done this before."
He would be her first.
Her last.
Her only.
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Post by Paul Lahote on Dec 16, 2013 23:40:10 GMT -5
When she lifted herself a bit, he was able to easily slide her pants off, and tossed them on the side too. He could feel her tugging at his own jeans, which caused him to slightly smile through the kiss. She had more layers he needed to work through to get her undressed . . . and once that was done, then he would take care of himself, either with her assistance -- which he would most certainly have no complaints about -- or without. One of his hands slid to her back while his other caressed her now exposed thigh. He was just about to unclasp what bound her bra when she pulled away from the kiss and said something that made him pause for a moment. She had never done this before. Paul wasn't going to lie, he was rather glad to hear that. Just meant he didn't have to hunt any guys down and rip them apart. He forced himself to stop his actions, though he didn't move his hands from their current positions.
Instead, he looked at her, and while he may not be able to describe his expression -- never having had it before -- he knew it was reflective of how much he loved her. He took another few moments to try and collect his thoughts, enough to talk at least. "And how do you feel about doing this now?" He asked. There was a slight teasing in his tone, but the more dominating purpose for his question was to make sure she was ready; that she felt ready. Cause, well, Paul was always ready, that much was clear. He didn't want her to think that this was why he had come here, or that it was why he said he loved her. He had a strong feeling she knew him well enough to not reach any of those conclusions. But still. He didn't want her to do anything she wasn't ready for. Because he loved her, he would wait for her in this way too, if that was what she wanted.
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Post by ♧Rachael Black♧ on Dec 17, 2013 0:22:52 GMT -5
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Paul offered no help with his own pants, but instead began trying to remove more of her own clothing. It both frustrated and amused her at his tactics. "And how do you feel about doing this now?" He asked, making her blush from his words, knowing that she had to answer but not knowing the words to give him.
How did she feel? Wonderful under his hands. Beautiful. Special. Were these the words that guys wanted to hear? "Nervous, but . . . not afraid." Which was true, she felt unafraid of him hurting her, only nervous because . . . well, "I am not sure what to do." And he wasn't helping her do what she wanted: undressing him.
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Post by Paul Lahote on Dec 17, 2013 4:23:23 GMT -5
She answered his question by saying that she was nervous, but unafraid, and unsure as to what to do. Neither of those suggested that she didn't want to do this, or didn't feel ready to. So the rest, he would take care of. He lightly kissed her lips, creating a trail of kisses from there, to the corner of her mouth, along her cheek until he reached her ear which she spoke directly in. "Its alright, Ray," he said in a low voice. His hand on her back moved to finally unclasp the item that covered the upper half of her body. "You don't have to worry about a thing." And with that, removed her bra entirely, tossing it to join their other articles of clothing on the floor.
He leaned back for a moment, allowing his eyes to take in their fill of her now exposed body. And he certainly enjoyed the view. He let his gaze trail over her, aware that his breathing was becoming a bit heavier from what he felt seeing her like that . . . and from how she always made him feel for just being her. "You're so damn beautiful," he said, unable to refrain from making a comment in this moment. And beautiful, didn't even begin to cover it. While he could stare at her all day, his need to feel that contact with her overpowered him, as he intensely kissed her again, his hand moving to cup one side of her chest, massaging the area. He knew he wasn't going to be able to last much longer.
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Post by ♧Rachael Black♧ on Dec 20, 2013 21:53:05 GMT -5
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Paul said she didn't have anything to worry about, but Rachael was. She didn't want to be unmemorable. She felt herself smile as his lips moved along her skin, and then the nervousness returned a little when he removed her bra, and then just looked at her. At first her hands moved as if to cover herself but instead they went to rest on his arms again, trying to restrain herself.
And then he kissed her. Making the feelings of enjoyment come back, as his large hand came up to tease the skin he bared. Rachael gasped through the kiss, and her fingers dug into his arms while a tight wetness begin building between her legs. "Your turn," She whispered, meaning his pants.
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