Worried Over Nothing (Bells?)

[jacobblack]

It was a cold day, as he approached the Swan Residence. Now he didn't expect much, especially from Bella. He'd desired to spend time with her. He knew she was going to be with Edward. They'd already had this discussion, but what he wanted to know was why. Why had Bella chosen a bloodsucker over him? He'd be curtious not to use that word in front of her as she seemed so hell bent in order to join that family. However, he, and Charlie, despised Edward with a passion, another reason he and Charlie hit it off so well. He knew the dangers of being around a house in which a vampire may very well have been inside, as the two would not stay in the same room for long. Actually if Bella did intend on getting married to Edward, if he went, he'd have to be as far back from the groom as he could get, due to the way things smelled. Edward's scent was a strong one by nature, something that should've alerted him but didn't. "Bells?" He knocked on the front door of the Swan house, now he had excellent senses, especially the eyesight and the hearing. Of course now, those senses came to help him out. He was worried about what would happen between him and Bella after she said I do. Would she still care for him, and still want to be his friend, or would she, like the Cullens despise him? Hate him for what he had no control over?

[ally]

Bella was sitting in the kitchen, though she would rather be out being herself. She and Edward agreed that it would be best for her to stay out of trouble, given her history. She agreed only to make him happy but inside she wished that she would rather be hanging with Jacob. She loved Jacob, but her heart, soul and life belongs to Edward. She had fun laughing and playing with Jacob but he hated her fiance. She shuddered at the though of course because she grew up hating the idea of marriage. She wanted to be a vampire, he wouldn't do that until after the wedding day. She always believed that she would be married later in life, like 10 years later. She thought about how her mother would take it, Charlie wasn't pleased. He didn't blow up like she thought he would, he had her mother has a tool. He knew that Renee wasn't going to let that happened, so he didn't need to look like the bad guy.

Edward was away on a hunting trip for the entire weekend, and here she was without any plans of her own. She had made a chicken Alfredo for Charlie but he was late, again. She sighed at the fact that no one trusts her enough to do anything. She heard a knock at the door and a familiar voice, she froze. She had been missing him for awhile, he avoided her often these days. She ran to the door and yelled "Jake, I wondered if i would ever see you again" she hoped she would see him before she would hate him, when she was a vampire."what brings you by?" she asked giving the big guy a hug, she didn't care why he was there, just that he was there.

[jacobblack]

"Bells." He said as he was grateful the vampire wasn't around. He didn't expect much to occur. "Is it safe to stop by, or am I invading on your business with the....fiancee?" He hated that term honestly, especially when it was Bella who was going to get married. However, years ago he had pictured them getting married, now he was watching the one he loved marry someone else and that, was the reason he hadn't come by. "Father asked me to stop by....'cause Charlie hasn't been around and he wondered if maybe Charlie...if you both were mad at us...."

He asked his best friend and sighed. This time, he wasn't able to say he was happy, not knowing if and when he'd see her again. "Everything's changing isn't it. I know Charlie's not home right now....so we can talk freely. It's not fair, honestly, I can't see you because of him. Because he and his family, have got you so wrapped up, and you're in love, and I get that, but you're forgetting who you are Bella, who you were before him and it's not right. You're losing everything by being with him and yes I know you want to be a vampire, and I can't say I respect that or like it. Because it means you'll be driving us further and futher apart." Bella aggrivated him to such a degree. She did not see things the way that he did.

His best bet was to be honest with her. "I have always loved you and a part of me, always will, but I can't keep seeing things happen the way that they are. I'm a wolf, you'll soon become a vampire, do you honestly expect we can keep things just the way that they've always been? How long do you think Edward will allow you to associate with me? Probably not long, you're going to have to accept the fact that, while neither of us imagined this way of life, it's chosen us, and we may not get a chance to spend any time together in the future. Wolves and Vampires are natural enemies by nature, and it's something that sickens me to think that I may end up your enemy. I have to be honest and say that I don't know what you see in him Bells that you couldn't see in me, but I've had alot of time to think and may be I'm just not enough. I've thought long and hard about leaving Forks and La Push once and for all." He told his best friend with a heavy heart. It wasn't something he wanted to do but he felt like he had to.

[ally]

Bella was shocked but she knew that jacob had been feeling things over the last couple of months thanks to her. She listen to everything he had to say, which she thought was amazing that he could put so much information from his heart in such a short time. She knew that they would be enemies when she finally turned. She knew that it would happend when she learned about who he was and who his enemies were. She also knew that she loved jacob more than she had expected too but her heart wanted Edward.

She looked at jacob with alot of tears in her eyes, she told herself she couldn't do that but she did anyways. She wanted to hug him but she wouldn't hurt him anymore. He couldn't see why she loved Edward so much but he was everything she was and more. "Jacob i love you too but." she said before looking around and then continue speaking " I love Edward with everything i have. You can't see why i love him but he's everything i knew i could never have. He's the air i breath, the food i eat and the blood i was soon going to eat" she knew that saying that hit a nerve for both of them " Its not fair, iam still going to be the same bella that you love. The same one who you helped fixed up the bikes and gets hurt at random clumsy times. Just because you hate my new family doesn't mean you have to hate me. OK yes my life was chosen for me, the day Edward saved my life" she though about the time of tyler nearly crushing her to death before Edward stepped in.

Bella continued but she grabbed his arm pulling him into the house "Iam glad he did, you would have got to know me and i would have died knowing nothing but sadness. We were chosen for a reason and i do believe that we can get passed this if only you would see. you are my best friend jake and i can't lose you but I would die if i lost him" If he was going to be honest with her, then she would do the same thing back.

[jacobblack]

How many times did his heart have to go through this? He'd been hurt countless times, when his mother died, to when his sisters abandoned him and now Bella...with her transformation it would be final, he would lose her just like he'd lost all the others, that and he felt like dying on the inside. "I don't want to do this anymore. I feel like I'm losing everything I have....you're everything I wanted...but could never have. I don't know why, it just it is the way that it is. I'm scared big time and it's not because of the fact that I'm different. I've had to adjust to everything changing but you....I don't want you to become one of them anymore than I would want you to become what I am. I like you just the way you are....I've loved you for so long and yes you may be willing to change...but like it or not....Forks changed when you returned to it.....and it's not ready to let you go off and become a vampire...because....vampires, while yours....the kind you want to be with are less dangerous than most, they're still very much a danger to everything we hold dear. "

He was more concerned about her than he was anyone else, including his Pack's. Of course, the pack was his family, everything he knew and loved, with the exception of Bella. He wanted a mate, but knew he would never get one. Not while the vampires existed, not while they stole the one person he loved most in this world right out from under him. "Forks changed when you got here, and it's going to change again because once you change, they can't or won't justify staying here anymore. And that's not all....that's only the tip of the iceburg. My pack is going to fight, and it's going to be more than I can deal with. When you marry him....it'll be over for me. I won't be able to be around, because they won't allow it. And you won't be welcome in La Push either, anymore than I'm welcome in Forks. I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to stop you from being happy and living the life that you've always dreamed....always desired. There's not really any room in your life for me once you make this transition....from the human to vampire. The thing is, they've stolen you right out from under me. We would've been together you and me, if it wasn't for all the supernatural stuff....and if the Cullens never showed. That was how it should've been. But I've had to take into the account that he's saved you more times than I ever could...no matter how much I'd have tried. He's got you wrapped around his finger, something I'll never understand. Wolves, like myself, usually end up alone, unless they somehow find a partner in another wolf." He finished as he stared at her. He did give her a small hug and then let her go and stepped back just a few steps. Every time he walked out the door, he was dying a little more on the inside.

[ally]

"Why?" she asked as she walked to the front of him now angry. She couldn't become fully angry with jake, it wasn't something she could do. She wanted to be there for him but not in the way he wanted her. She hated that her life was stucked into the supernatural but she has never loved it more. Sure jake pack would attack her family in a heart beat when she was turned but could they really kill them. They weren't brutual killers and neither were the cullens, given the choice.
"Jake things are the way they are, i can't change that but you can. Didn't you stay that you make your own choices, not sam." she shook her head, she was losing it again.

"I know i hurt you, i can see it more than you think, i am so tired of hurting everyone i love" she was in full blown tears but she hasn't moved from jacob " I told myself that i would never bother you again because i hate hurting you like this. I didn't mean for you too fall in love with you nor did i ever thought that i care this much about you" she had to hold onto the frame for support "But don't leave, you father would miss you too much. Iam going to leave you alone even though i want to make this work, even if its impossible you say" she was hoping that he would listen to her. He was the stability in her life when Edward lefted "what happend, why did Edward return let my best friend hate me so much. if you really loved me you would find a way around it" she was back to angry but soon loss all control.

She moved away from him and said "I hate this, iam only hurting you. Iam so bad to you and yet you always come back. Why?!" she practically screamed before running out of the house and inton the forrest. She wanted to stop hurting him, it was hurting her more than he would ever know.

[jacobblack]

He may not have been as fast as the vampires but he would not give up so easily when it came to Bella. He smirked softly as he caught up with her. "You didn't think I'd give up so easily did you Bells? Come on, we've known eachother pretty much our entire lives. Just because we don't like where eachother....the other's path is....it shouldn't stop what we have known to be truth, that we can be friends either way. Forget what Sam, and the others say....and Edward and the others. This choice, it's not up to them, it's up to us, like always." He told Bella honestly as he had no intention of losing her. Not when everything seemed to be changing.

"The way I play tonight, is what I leave behind. It all comes down to right now.
It's up to us. This is the last time to get it right. This is the last chance to make it our night.We gotta show what we're all about. This is the last chance to make our mark.
History will know who we are! It's Now Or Never!" It was as simple as that, it wasn't a game but it was the best analogy that he could think of. He was working hard to get her to see things his way, that to everyone else it was all a game...humans, didn't know what they were getting themselves into, even Bella didn't truly know.

[ally]

Bella closed her eyes as jacob spoke, he was finally trying to see whats really there but she knew that she couldn't do it. Sure she could leave it all behind but she would die if she lost Edward. Jacob does what sam says, as if he had any choice. Besides she was tired of hurting him, she needed to be put away so no one could be hurt by her anymore. She started crying again, she was on her knees this time "Jacob that would be so amazing but you know it doesn't work that way. I love you but Edward is my life. I hate it that iam hurting you but i can't keep doing it. Iam going to marry him, you hate him. You will hate me too when iam turn. even though its still me" she was trying to breath, running was such a bad idea.

Bella looked at how her life went from crap to amazing to crap, then amazing only back to crap again. Jacob helped her when Edward lefted to "protect her" but when he came back, she lost him. Some days she would remember the good days when she didn't need to decide who to be with. She wiped her eyes and said "I am marrying him, i don't care what they have against werewolves, i won't hate you when i am turned but can you do the same about me" she asked him, she needed to hear the right answer.

[jacobblack]

"I knew the answer, there, between you and Edward the moment I saw the two of you together..I walked away from the situation because I didn't want to see things end badly. Now I see that they won't. I won't hate you, irregardless, I've tried to remain civil to the others, but I can't guarantee that i'll work too long. After all there are things that not even you can ever put aside. There's nothing left to say now is there? Do you want me to just walk away, given what I know, given what I've seen? And be like the others, is that what you want? Because I can't do it. You were the one that helped me through the first part of phasing and I had to keep it a secret but it wasn't easy. And I'm glad you know but I'm also upset that you had to find out about us all, that more people would end up hurt or killed because of what we are, and that is regrettable."

He said, as he was not going to find a way to explain it. Nothing was ever human, anymore, not with him. Actually it was anything but, humans were not easy to deal with. If he was to die...then that was what was supposed to happen. He would have to say only one thing and that was how his heart was. "Death is not what I seek nor would I allow it to consume you. You and the others, are transformed into walking creatures of the night...because of the fact that you're going to be immortal, as long as I keep phasing, I too will remain immortal. Which means that we'll both be able to live long lives if that is what we choose." Too many people would end up hurt or killed. He would be unavailable to those who he did not care for, those outside his pack, and Sam's whom he felt unobligated to help. Those who mattered most to him, would keep getting his help.

[ally]

Bella was at disbelief with what he had just said, she was having hard time believing he had said that to her. Sure things have gone wrong but how could he stand around and watch them try to fall apart. He didn't hate her, she could see it in his face. He wanted her more now than ever but he couldn't and she hated herself for doing this to him. She wiped her tears and stood up as she slowly approached him "You don't hate me, i know you don't but i won't let you change your words. You should hate me, i hurt you in more ways than before i can't be your friend." She thought about something and then said it "I have seen more than any human should deal with, but understand this what edward and his family are is nothing to compare with what you think you know." she was more determine to stand up for her family.

"More importantly i want to be with edward forever, if it means being one of them then i will do it. i was glad you told me your secrect, i felt like i knew you but jake i was really losing you" she turned around crying again "what makes it worse is that we will be around for almost forever and i won't even get to spend anytime with you because you'll be to busy hating me. I will have to know that you are still around in hundred years and i can't even speak to you because you would rip my head off in a heart beat" his heart beat, not hers. She was losing it again and it was harder this time.

[jacobblack]

He took a deep breath. "How can I hate my best friend? Yes, you'll be turning into the thing, I despise the most, but in all honesty, I think I can deal with it. You just have to trust me." He said as he looked at her and walked over slightly and hugged her, keeping his arms around her until she calmed down. He was warm, and as most vampires he'd run across were ice cold this should give him a slight disadvantage. The only thing she would be losing from him, would be his heart. That was all that would be lost. Bella could count on him always.

He gulped. "All you're losing from me is what I feel for you, what I shouldn't be feeling even though I do anyway. You're my best friend and it'll take hell and high water in order for me to stop coming around, to stop wanting to be there for you. Yes, it'll take an adjustment period but that's what happens when things take the kind of turn they're about to take. I love you, and it's because of that that I'm even willing to step aside everything I've ever known to be there for you, like I've always been....always done, and to help protect the next generation, to protect both Forks and La Push with everything I have. That should mean something." His eyes were glossed over but he was not showing as much emotion as she was, for the simple fact was, if he broke down, he'd die. End of story. "I got alot of things I have to do, all these distractions our future's coming soon. We're being pulled a hundred different directions but whatever happens I know I've got you. You're on my mind, you'e in my heart, it doesn't matter where we are, we'll be alright even if we're miles apart." He said in all sincerity. He couldn't be with her and that was something he had to accept, and he had for the most part. No matter where life would take them, nothing would break them apart, unless that was what she desired. "You know how life can be, it changes overnight. It's sunny then raining, but it's alright. A friend like you always makes it easy, I know that you get me every time. Through every up through every down you know that I'll always be around, through anything you can count on me. Nothing can break us apart, you know it's true."

[ally]

Bella smiled at him, she was glad that she became friends with him, he was something else. She hated the idea of him going against his pack for her but she didn't at this point really care "and no matter what any vampires say i would never stray away from you, i love you too jake and you will always be my best friend" she needed to get out of this emotional issue, who knows if there own plan will follow through over the next hundreds years. Anything could happend and something would go wrong causing a rift between the two losing each other in the process.

Bella wanted to do something but didn't have any ideas expect the bike they had fixed up, she wondered if he still had it. "okay lets drop this iam getting married and living forever not dying, i want do something i know Edward will hate if he knew" she smiled evily and then said "Do you still have those bikes, i want to give it another shot" she was so excited, she didn't know what to do.

[jacobblack]

A wicked smile spread across his face. "Yes, I never got rid of them even when Charlie told me to." He smirked as he looked at her. Those were the good old days. He was happy and furthermore he knew that this was something the two of them could share without anyone telling him not to. "Are you sure you want to do this though, I mean I know Edward's very overprotective, and last thing I need, is to get him on my case because I've hurt his precious fiancee." That last word stung a bit but not near as much as he had expected it to.

He remembered the days on the bikes. He remembered the joy and laughter they once shared while riding on them. But then memories came flooding back to him about how he nearly lost her, for good, when Edward returned. He'd avoided her calls to avoid the pain but now he was ready to deal with it once and for all. Sure it killed him to see Bella so happy about becoming one of them....one of the vampires, but he had to say that at least he'd never see her die. That was the only good thing about it. He'd die, surely enough if he ever stopped phasing but thinking about how old his father and the others were made him sure of himself.

He disappered, for a little bit, and came back with two of the bikes, he'd had to go all the way to La Push, in wolf form to get them but he was back in his human form and with the two bikes, it hadn't been nearly that difficult actually it was quite easy, but he had his cell phone on him in case Charlie or Billy were looking for the two of them. He couldn't help but feel ecstatic about what was happening, that he and Bella were back...together as they once were.

[ally]

Bella stung once again at the whole word fiance, it wasn't something that people should be throwing around. Yes, Edward was very protective to her but he will do anything to protect her. Even if that means driving a car that she never even seen in the country yet. This car has to have some sort of speacial unit to it for Edward to allow to drive around in it. "Edward will get over it besides its between the two of us" she smiled like she used too, she missed him when he was just plain Jacob. He had disappeared for a little while before he was found with the bikes.

She ran over to the bikes and grabbed her bike, it hadn't changed. She knew that these bikes were orginially to hear edward, seemed so petty to her now. She wanted to use these bikes so that the two of them had something to hold onto. She knew that one day he's going to be too busy to do anything that makes them feel like life was the same. She climbs on but she falls to the side, she busted into a fit of laughter and yells for help. "I think i neded help atleast getting myself to sit up straight"

[jacobblack]

He couldn't help but bust out laughing. "Bells you haven't changed a bit." He said as he looked at her, and smirked, this was what he loved most about her. The fact that she could laugh at herself and be okay with it. He helped her and now she was steady on the bike. Smirking softly he climbed on his own. "Do you think you can handle a little race between here and my house?" He asked as he wondered if she could even handle going down the block the way she was acting.

[ally]

Bella smiled at his smirk, she missed it so much. It was hard to see him in so much pain that made him look older than his years. When she first saw him when she return to Forks, he looked like a kid but now he looks at least 25 yrs old. He's a lot stronger and wiser than ever expected but there are still things that he acts immature on. As she was pulled back up she steadied herself so that she could start the thing.

"I could, no problem" she wasn't entirely sure if she could really actaully drive it but it didn't mean she couldn't try. She could see Edward face now if he heard she was doing this, he never let himself go hunting. He stay home to protect her and he would rather starve himself than to let anything happend to her. He was her soul mate and she would die if anything hurt him. As she tired to start it again she fell forward when it jerked, she landed on her back.

[jacobblack]

"You know maybe that's not exactly a wise decision since you can't even ride the thing anymore. You've forgotten how." He said as he looked at her, as he did not want any major problems but at the same time, he really wanted to try. He didn't want Bella losing her life over something as trivial as the past. Yet, he felt like it was something he was meant to do. For one thing, he had been able to just handle things with ease, alot more than he had once been able to. He was older now, yes, but in some ways, just a child himself. At least that's what he knew Bella was probably thinking. "Do I have to reteach you everything?"

[ally]

Bella knew that Jacob was right but it wasn't like she would tell him that. She wanted to remember this as if nothing changed so that she can remember it like it was. She was getting married soon, and even if she didn't want things to change, they will. She looked around the bike, there was so much she didn't even know that was even there. She coldn't even remember how to hold the bike up, it was impossible for her.

She knew that jacob didn't want her getting hurt, but she always did no matter who was around. She tried to get on one more time but her pants leg got caught on the metal piece on the wheel. she yaked on her pants leg till she rip the bottom of her pants, she hated the pants anyway. She looked at jake and blushed "you just might have too"

[jacobblack]

"You're impossible Bells." He said as he got off of his own bike, letting the kickstand hold the bike in place as he showed her once again everything that had to do with the bike, how to keep it level and how to get it started, just the same things he had taught her once before. Smirking softly he realized time was of the essence. He was sure of one thing and one thing only, if Edward did not like him before, he certainly would not like the fact that he was helping Edward's beloved Fiancee, and his best friend, relearn everything that was taught to her several years ago. Laughing slightly he looked at her. "You really do need to pay more attention Bells, I know you're clumsy but good grief." He teased his best friend and smiled just a bit. He did not know what to expect, but he did know that it was nearly impossible to keep his attention on the bikes when she was so beautiful. Granted he kept his mind clear and clean, not thinking of her that way anymore, he couldn't, for it would hurt too much to be around her if he did.