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Post by shea on Jan 10, 2009 2:28:38 GMT -5
[Ooc: Open to Any Cullen.]
It was rare that Esme found herself thinking about the memories of her past. They weren't ones that one usually cared to dwell upon, bring back up. And it was long ago that Esme had shed the hard covering the pain had caused her. It was only with Carlisle's gentle and persistent help that she had even found herself able to do that.
A relationship such as the one she had with her previous husband, Charles Evenson, was not one that anyone would forget. The constant beating, talking down to, and having someone forced upon you did things to those that suffered through it all. Esme had considered herself tainted. Not worth the love that Carlisle had wanted to provide. She had pushed him away, flinched at his every welcoming hand, not willing herself to believe the words he spoke. She had fallen for it once before, the "I love yous", the "I'll never hurt yous". Despite being pushed away Carlisle found it in him to go on, pull the butterfly from her cocoon.
And a beautiful butterfly Esme quickly became. Shedding the ghosts of her past. Creating new memories with her only true love, Carlisle.
And usually, she wouldn't find herself thinking on the past, the memories of her human life, the nightmares. The memories that would have usually been covered with a thick veil were now clear to her, having been pulled from her mind many times before in the past.
Flinching from a memory that was too clear, to real, she was brought back down to reality. The previous scene having been one of the worst nights she had been able to pull from her human life; Charles had once again come home drunk and had thrown her into a wall, giving her a forceful beating all because she hadn't cleaned the floors to his liking. After the beating he had forced himself upon her. She had let the memory stop there.
The memories wouldn't have even been brought up if it hadn't been for the nights events. Her oldest son having saved a girl, a human girl, Bella Swan, from the vile thoughts of a group of men. A group of men that had the same thoughts of women as Charles had. Esme had recalled her experiences, grateful that the poor girl was saved before anything terrible could have happened to her.
With a sight she sat up from her previous laying position. She tucked strands of her caramel hair behind her ears as she turned to look at the open door of her bedroom. She had hoped she would find Carlisle standing there, back from "taking care of" the men that had attempted to endanger Bella Swan's life, as a favor for their son, Edward. As she looked at the empty door frame the expression on her face was still one of pain and despair, the previous recall of memories not having fully dissipated from her mind.
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Post by Jasper Hale on Jan 10, 2009 11:53:29 GMT -5
Jasper was returning from Alice's room. It was not technically considered their room since he spent most of his time in the study and the bedroom was filled with her belongings. Jasper of course did not mind. They needed no space to sleep and the house was large enough to find an alternative room to pass the time in. He did however have to see her for a moment which was the sole reason he was wandering around the area.
It was odd timing indeed, for as he was passing Carlisle and Esme's room, he felt something was not right. The emotions that often filled Esme seemed to have diminished. Her warmth and maternal love was still there . . . but there were other things that he did not often sense from her, and that caused him some concern.
He lightly knocked on the door to her bedroom. Jasper was not the best person to help comfort someone . . . verbally anyway. He had no problem helping calm someone down with his abilities, but he did not often do that with a family member unless it was absolutely necessary. Sometimes, all people needed to do was talk. But he had a feeling Esme would not want to involve him in what struggles she was enduring. Mothers never did.
Either way, he waited outside her door since no one else was here at the moment, and he could not stand to feel her filled with such emotions. Someone as kind and loving as Esme did not deserve to endure such feelings.
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Post by shea on Jan 10, 2009 20:08:14 GMT -5
The familiar scent of her son, Jasper, registered in Esme's mind before the knock on the door did. She shook her head, as if to rid it of the previous memories. Quickly replacing the saddened look with a warm and welcoming smile.
Though most of the family knew of her past, she wouldn't force the thoughts she had now upon anyone. She tried to keep them to herself, but sometimes that wasn't possible. Knowing one of those times was probably now, though Jasper's ability was useful at times, she wished he wouldn't have to feel the emotions of those around him. Especially hers right now.
"Come in," she answered, slinging her legs off the side of the bed. Letting her feet touch the ground she stood in one quick movement and waited for Jasper to come in.
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Post by ashy on Jan 10, 2009 21:16:51 GMT -5
Alice listened as Jasper walked away from their room. She planned to pull out a cd-player once he would out of hearing range. Or immedately out of foot-step hearing range anyway. The pixie-like girl did this everytime he left, and had acutally counted how many steps it took him to reach the stairs. But this time he stopped short. Did he forget to tell her something? Glancing around, Alice thought perhaps he had left something. Nope. Then why did he stop?
Frowning, the small woman released her legs from the criss-crossed figure they have been in, and slid herself off the bed. Her bare feet touched the wooden floors, which felt nice and warm compared to her body temperature. Gliding over to the door, Alice peered out, her head floating in the air beyond the door. Down the hall, she spotted Jasper infront of Esme and Carlisle's door. Waiting.
Slipping herself out of their room, Alice walked slowly down the hall. When she reached Jasper, he had already knocked on the door, and there was the angelic sound of Esme behind it. Come in.
Smiling, Alice wrapped her arm around Jaspers, and said, "Why are you going in here?"
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Post by Jasper Hale on Jan 10, 2009 23:22:16 GMT -5
Jasper was distracted by the invitation for him to enter . . . but Alice's sudden presence. He looked at the door, slowly putting his hand on the knob before turning to Alice to answer her question. "Something is wrong. Esme seems . . . upset about something. I was going to talk to her." He was going to find out what it was . . . and to see if there was anything he could do to alter her mood. "Would you like to join me?"
He had a feeling Alice's answer would be yes, since she too enjoyed spreading joy to others when they were in need of it. He opened the door . . . slowly and carefully as he saw Esme on the bed. He looked at her, expressionless as his face usually was, but inside he felt concern for his mother. "Esme, I hope I am not disturbing you." He would see if this was a bad time -- which he was afraid it was judging from how she was feeling -- but it could also be a good time because since Carlisle was not present at the moment, perhaps she preferred not to be alone.
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Post by shea on Jan 11, 2009 22:00:35 GMT -5
Esme was surprised as she heard her newest daughter approach her door too. Though she shouldn't be surprised, where one of them the other wasn't far behind. Her face fell when she heard Jasper explain to his wife why he found himself knocking on her bedroom door. She didn't want to have to share her thoughts with them, but she would, knowing it would upset them if she didn't.
"No you're alright Jasper, hun," she told him, smiling slightly, attempting to shift her mood. She was actually glad he had knocked on her door, pulling her from her previous memories.
"Did you need anything?" she asked the two of them. Though she was sure they weren't knocking on her door for anything they needed from the room.
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Post by ashy on Jan 12, 2009 16:24:41 GMT -5
"Ah." said Alice, frowning a little. "I hope she's okay." Nodding when he offered her to join him, Alice stepped into the room, pulling Jasper with her. "Are you alright?" There was plain worry in Alice's tone of voice. Of course she was worried. Esme was not happy. Or at least she didn't seem to be.
[ahhhh sorry kinda felt ackweird intruding]
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Post by Jasper Hale on Jan 12, 2009 17:17:14 GMT -5
Jasper was not surprised by Esme's question. She always put others before herself . . . her love for her family was purely maternal and unconditional. "No," he answered. He would have begun the conversation, trying to ask whether she was alright . . . but as Alice interjected, it brought the issue right to the point, which was good since it was of great importance and the reason Jasper had interrupted Esme at the moment.
"I was passing by . . . " He had a feeling those words were enough to explain how he knew. "I did not mean to intrude. I was however worried. So please, allow me to offer if there is anything I can do for you or anything you require."
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Post by shea on Jan 12, 2009 19:43:37 GMT -5
Esme sighed as Jasper explained what she had already known. He had felt her emotions as he passed her room. A new wave of guilt washed over her momentarily, she really hated to burden others with the recalled memories of the past.
"I'm alright," she explained to the both of them, her motherly smile extending across her face. "Just thinking about the past." She knew the both of them knew some of her past; that she was married before and that she had lost her son. She had never gone into details with them.
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Post by ashy on Jan 14, 2009 7:33:45 GMT -5
Alice frowned. Thinking of Esme's past wasn't healthy for her. Although, Alice would never say that aloud. "Please tell me your thinking of happy thoughts!" But Alice knew better. She knew Esme would most likely be dwelling on her human life, and that was the cause of this ripple in her emotions Jasper had sensed. Alice knew Esme better than she thought she did. Alice walked slowly to sit on Esme's bed, and then pulled her into a side-hug. She couldn't bare to see Esme try to put on a good face when she had just felt bad a minute before.
[/blockquote][/color] [ack! dramatic, sorry i didnt really know what to put] |
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Post by Jasper Hale on Jan 16, 2009 11:19:15 GMT -5
Jasper hated feeling the guilt and pain from his mother. He wanted to do more to help . . . but as previously established, he was not the best person to verbally console someone. It was certainly a good thing Alice was here . . . she was better at this sort of thing. "Is there anything we can do to help Esme?" He was not sure what to say. He knew vague details of her past. Most of them did not discuss their human lives often. It was either traumatic or just too painful to remember.
"Please do not feel guilty." He almost regretted saying that for sometimes when he unintentionally sensed others emotions, he -- or perhaps they as well -- felt it was an invasion of privacy on his part. But he could not help it. He did however make this remark in hopes to reassure her. Whether it would be successful or not . . . he would soon find out.
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Post by shea on Jan 18, 2009 5:39:28 GMT -5
As Esme was pulled into a side hug by her newest daughter a saddened, quiet laugh escaped her throat. "Oh how I wish I was thinking happy thoughts," she said quietly, "Then I wouldn't have to explain to you all what was going through my mind. It's not fair that I should have to burden you too with my past."
A rarity it was that Esme found herself in such a mood, not even the presence of her children could pull her from the slight depression her thoughts were causing her. The sadness only deepened by the fact that Jasper and Alice had stumbled upon her in such a state. "You can't get rid of memories Jasper," Esme sighed and stood up once more.
"I'm sorry," she started, "I just need to pull myself out of this pitiful state." She laughed lightly, shaking her head as if that would help. She looked at Jasper with a smile, "But I do. It's not fair for you to have to feel my emotions too. They're not ones I would like to share."
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Post by ashy on Jan 18, 2009 13:53:45 GMT -5
"Nonsense, Esme!" Alice said. "We're your family, we're here to help!" Alice frowned. It was true. Alice had always been one to help comfort her family, and she was quiet good at it, especially due to her stubbornness. Her new taskw as to cheer up Esme.
Pitiful state.. WHAT?! "No." Alice thought Esme thought of others a little too much. "It's not your job-.." She was looking for the right words to explain her thoughts. "Dont-.." No, no no! It wasn't that alice wanted Esme to be slightly depressed, or sad in any way. But to see her ignoring her thoughts to make others.. to help others not worry about her was wrong. They were family, and that was why they were here.
"You don't need to bottle up your thoughts and feelings. It will only get worse." Turning to Jasper, Alice added quietly, "If you do need to leave, I will help Esme."
[oh my gosh. im so sorry, i didn't mean to come in and take over your thread Jasper and Esme T.T]
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