Guilt

[Leah Clearwater]

It was raining. It did that allot here, so in that at lest, was nothing new. It was almost comforting after today's events. As if it could just wash it all away.

Leah stood in the rain out side the Black's house near the mailbox, not caring she was getting soaked, and the cold sure as hell didn't brother her. Wolf thing. The cold often didn't even cross her mind and the rain served it's purpose. While her face was hard, and looked almost angry, the rain hid the hot tears that came down her tan cheeks. The only time she moved is when Jacob's howls of pain crossed her hears. Then she flinched. Her fault. Her mistake, her fault, all her; everything was on her.

Jacob had saved her furry butt. She knew it and it made her feel guilty, which made her feel angry. She should have known better then try a stunt like she had. It was stupid and her ego had gotten the better of her; but instead of getting killed, Jacob had saved her and had many broken bones to prove it plus a leech for a doctor. Which would not have been so bad if that mind reader had not come with him!

When the sounds of a truck coming crossed her; she frowned. It sounded to loud to be a new truck, and after being in Jacob's head (another wolf thing) Leah could almost guess where the sound came from. When the red peace of crap that the blacks used to own came slowly in to view, Leah just watched. Jacob had helped her, keep her from enormous pain, or even slow death.

Time to return the favor.

---------[TAG: Bella Only]

[isabella]

Bella's truck rumbled down the gravel road toward La Push. She had stolen the moment to come check on her friend. Yes, her friend. Whether Edward liked it or not Jake would always be her friend. Or would he? Could he forgive her for going back to Edward? She didn't know, but hoped he would.

The truck was void of music. The gaping hole from where she had ripped the CD player out of the dash was still there, now taped over though Edward insisted on fixing it. Today she preferred the quiet anyway. After the earlier events she needed peace and quiet. It had been too much for one day and hard to believe the day was not over.

The clouds made the oncoming night approach faster blocking out the setting sun. In the distance she could see the black outline of the Black's house. A figure was illuminated on the porch, a feminine figure. Leah. The only girl in the pack. It couldn't be anyone else. Flashbacks from earlier flew through Bella's head as she got closer to the house. She had nearly gotten everyone killed. Jake had saved his packmate and without him who knows what could have happened.

Dread filled the back of Bella's head, causing her chest to tighten. Bella got the feeling Leah never liked her. She didn't blame her really. Leah certainly had not had an easy time with all this. She pulled into a spot behind a car Jake had undoubtedly bought at some point with the intention to fix up (but was still in pieces in the driveway) and turned off the engine.

She braced herself for a moment before opening the door and stepping out. She had been given a few minutes to change before escaping. She now had on a clean pair of jeans, gray thermal shirt with a black camisole underneath and her tan canvas coat with a pair of brown boots. She bit her lip as she walked up to the front porch. "How's he doing?" she said quietly in her low flat voice. What else could she say? 'Hi Leah, How are you?' seemed more than a little insensitive.

[Leah Clearwater]

"He's in pain." She snapped out in a low voice that that held the tone of 'duh' in it. "Allot of it." She added on to the end, not about to go out of her way to make Bella feel better about all this. Leah knew the story between Bella and Jacob a little to well. The first way was though Jake, the pack mind allowed her to hear everything though he had of his little human leech loving friend. He thought about her almost as much as Sam thought of Emily, and Jared thought of Kim. It was bad enough she had to hear them talk about their love lives, but at lest she knew there was some over powering supernatural force making them do it. With Jake it was just teenage sap.

The other way Leah knew about them was experience. Jacob was about to get his heart handed to him on a plate. Leah had eyes, and hears. She caught on to what Jake's emotions had blinded him to. He was fighting a losing battle. A battle lose before it begin. On the plus side, at lest Jake had not lost the battle to someone he called a best friend, and sister. "He needs his rest." Leah pushed out, moving slightly so her body was between the house and Bella. A statement. A warning.

[isabella]

Bella wished more than anything that she had come earlier, or later, just sometime when Leah was not outside the house, stand guard as it seemed. She saw the physical barrier Leah was creating between herself and the front door. She looked past her at the storm door. It didn't matter if the door was open or closed, she knew Seth and Jake could 'hear' every word of what was going on. She would have to think before she spoke, something she often forgot to do.

"I guess I knew that." She said flatly looking at her feet now. She could tear her eyes off her brown muddy boots. Leah was looking at her in a way that made Bella ashamed, ashamed of everything she put not only Jake through, but all of them. And for what? So she could live happily ever after with her vampire. It sounded pretty bad.

She wasn't about to turn around and go home though. She had come all the way out here and more importantly found a second to steal away from Edward and his family. She didn't know when she would be able to get away again. "I... uh... just came to see if he was awake." She said hoping Leah would take the hint and step aside.

[Leah Clearwater]

Leah's eyes drifted down as she let her hearing take over slightly, she could hear way to much and she had to focuse a moment before she could isolate the sound she was looking for. Jacob's breathing. Which did her allot of good, it was ragged, but she couldn't tell if he was awake or asleep. Movies lied, you couldn't tell that sort of information from sound. Looking back to Bella she frowned, "I don't know." She admitted, Leah had not gone in to Jake's house to see him. After they got him home she had just stood guard near by in case the leech doctor made a wrong move.

Then her mood shifted as if she just recalled why she was out here talking to Bella in the first place. "I bet he is, your hunk of junk could have woken the dead." She jestered to the beast of a truck Bella drove. "He should be sleeping, not having you come play nurse maid and lead him on further." There, she said it. It was out in the open, and Leah was glad. Maybe if she was mean enough (With out crossing the line of getting her self in trouble) Bella would leave Jake alone.

[isabella]

The subtle jab chipped away at the little pride she had left. Bella was so drained emotionally, there was very little fight left in her. Instead she just felt worse and worse. She winced as Leah said "lead him on". She had never meant to lead him on. Things just happened and then it just continued to snowball. But she couldn't help that there was only one of her.

She stole a quick glance at Leah's dark eyes before returning them to her shoe. She could face a rabid vampire and an army of newborns, even the volturi, but she couldn't work up the courage to face Leah right now. She mindlessly toyed with the knot at the end of the drawstring on her jacket. "I need to see him." She said quietly but firmly. She felt like such a coward but she kept her eyes fixed on the ground.

She knew Jake was inside and that he could 'hear' everything. He wither didn't want to see her or was too weak to get up. But either way she had to see for herself. She waited to see if Leah would relent or if this was going to take this even further.

[Leah Clearwater]

Leah watched Bella react and felt like an ass, but knew she was doing the right thing. No one else might agree with her, but she knew were this story was heading, she's just break his heart and Jacob would be no better off then her. Bella would be just another Sam, getting someone's hopes up and then watch them crash when they didn't pick them. She would forever be sorry, but not let him move on. "Why?"

"He's hurt, if you upset him, if you make mad, it's going to do more damage then good. You should leave him alone. Let him move on if your not going to pick him. Make it a clean break, so he can heal faster." Leah would never know the words she was repeating to Bella, she only knew she wished she could just break away from Sam. She had tried leaving the pack, more then once, but Leah Clearwater, girl-wolf was not alpha material. She was stuck here.

[isabella]

Bella could see there was no easy way to get out of this one. Leah needed to make her position known. Bella knew Leah's history and could imagine how hard that was (and would still be). But she also understood how Sam probably felt. The choice wasn't hers to make. It was like nature.

Bella pulled her head up but only looked Leah in the eyes breifly before diverting them behind her at the house. "Look Leah, I know you don't like me..." She started,most likely a complete underestimate of Leah's feelings towards her. "...but I need to see Jake." Her eyes flashed back to Leah's for a second, Bella tried to evaluate if she was making the situation better or worse. "He's still my friend Leah. He will always be my friend." She said, her voice now growing a little stronger but still weak.

{OOC: Sorry so short, still trying to wake up this morning.}

[Leah Clearwater]

Bella was just repeating her self now. With most people Leah would have gotten snide about it but she knew from Jacob's head that Bella was being stubborn. It was a flaw and one that annoyed Leah. Maybe because she could be just as stubborn at times, still Leah liked to think she was smart enough to know when to stop hurting people pointlessly. (Hurting Sam wasn't pointless, just something that she couldn't stop doing. The bitterness came to natural with her anger. She couldn't fight it.

"Did you hear anything I said?" Leah asked as she just stood there and stared at Bella. She wanted to toss her off another cliff. (Bella had jumped the first one). That might tick off the leeches, get this fight over with and they could stop waiting. "How do you thinking hurt will help his recovery?" There, if she loved him like she claimed maybe she do what's best for him.

[isabella]

Bella mentally smacked herself for being repetitive. She didn't know what else to say. She was so emotionally and mentally exhausted. She finally looked up at Leah. "Leah, I'm sorry. What else do you want me to say?" She pleaded. She would say anything to get Leah to stop looking at her like she was there to tear Jake's heart out of his chest and stomp on it.

She tore her eyes away from Leah when she felt a hint of wetness start to well up in the corners. She never cried and she wasn't about to in front of Leah especially. Leah was so strong. Bella was not about to show intimidated by her she was.

She returned her gaze to her shoes and continued to toy with the end of the draw string. The knot untied and the silver bead at the end of the drawstring fell into the mud at her feet. "Oh... crap..." She said quietly as she bent down to find it, letting the frayed end of the drawstring fall and hang limply. She cursed herself internally for being so clumsy and she nudged the mud around with her boot hoping to hit something hard. Finding the tiny silver bead would be nearly impossible but she was determined now to avoid making the moment even more awkward. She must have looked like an idiot and she knew it.