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Post by Leah Clearwater on Aug 6, 2009 1:14:17 GMT -5
Leah was on the phone with one of her girl friends, talking about how she was stuck at some family event and not out having fun. While Leah left this part out, it would at lest help keep her mind off of Sam. When her mother walked by and told her to hang up 'NOW', Leah sighed and talked for ten more mins before finally hanging up and starting to make her plate. She didn't go out with the others, but sat inside and ate at the Black's table.
She hated having nothing to do. She missed Sam, and it hurt to know he was off with Emily right now. It hurt to know her best friend was with her ex-would-be-husband. It was enough to make her want to cry, but Leah wouldn't let anyone know how much she was hurt. When Charlie's daughter . . . .Isabella or something . . . walked in Leah have a half friendly smile. "Hey."
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Post by bella on Aug 6, 2009 7:43:39 GMT -5
Bella wanted to do something reckless she wanted to break promises too. Riding a motorcycle was exactly what she needed. It was reckless and dangerous. This was her main reason for having the bike and getting parts to fix them today. It was her college funds, but she could care less. Jacob was an added bonus. It was easy to be happy around Jacob like her own personal sun. It was still strange how she had started laughing with Jacob as the made their way the Black's house. It felt wonderful, but at the same time if horribly wrong. It had been such a long time. Bella smiled at everyone at the Black's house the Clearwaters had joined them tonight.
It was uncomfortable being in Billy's small kitchen so they moved outside which suited Bella just find. She didn't want the night to end. Fearing what would come that night. She could last long without having a nightmare. It terrified her to no end. She knew the reason as to why it did, but quickly pushed those thoughts aside. She were here enjoying herself something strange and hadn't happen in months. Bella went inside the house helping gather a few more things that they needed like drinks.
Bella paused as Leah Clearwater greeted her. Bella smiled back, "Hello." Bella didn't really know the Clearwaters all that well. Sure she had met them a few times when she would down in the summer, but that had been a long time ago. Perhaps things were beginning to change.
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Post by Leah Clearwater on Aug 10, 2009 0:20:17 GMT -5
Well that was short and fun. Leah thought before speaking up with just any about anything to be polite and keep the topic going, that and Leah sort of liked gossip. Talking boys was fun too. (Used to be allot more fun). "So, you and Jake, huh?" She said in a tone that said she was asking for details on how Bella and Jake started dating. Leah like everyone else just assumed they were a couple, or at lest heading that way. They seemed to like each other, and hang out allot. (Leah only knew this because Charlie Swan and Billy Black, and Harry Clearwater gossiped worse then old women! It was horrible the way they talked about their kids lives sometimes.
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Post by bella on Aug 10, 2009 9:21:43 GMT -5
"It's not like that," Bella replied with a frown. It would never be like that. Bella couldn't even think about that right now. She would feel like she was betraying someone. Bella could feel the whole ache at the thought of this. She couldn't bear to think about it. It was to . . . painful. Jacob was a friend nothing more. He could be nothing more. Not right now, not ever. At least that's what Bella was thinking right now. Bella needed to pull herself together. She couldn't allow herself to fall apart here right now in front of this girl she didn't really know.
Bella focused on something else anything else to distract her mind. Leah. She didn't really know this girl. She had seen her a few times probably even talked to her when she would visit in the summer, but she hadn't been here in a long time. She didn't really know this girl, but maybe that could change. But who was she kidding? The only reason she was with Jacob was so she could do something dangerous. Him brightening her day was an added bonus. As long as she got to ride that motorcycle something dangerous and reckless. Maybe she would hear his voice again.
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Post by Leah Clearwater on Aug 18, 2009 23:16:16 GMT -5
No details. Leah didn't really remember to much about Bella. When Charlie brought her over as kids, he left her with the Blacks, not the Clearwaters but, what little she didn know about her (Gossip from Rebecca mostly) was coming back to her. Bella wasn't a talker. "I don't LOOK like nothing." Leah said in a tone that did more then slightly suggest just how much she 'believed' Bella. (Or didn't believe). "And from the looks of it, it's no nothing to Jake either."
Leah used to be a romantic but ever since Sam dumped her from her best friend, she was slightly against romantic. She wasn't going to take that thoughts on on others. (Especially ones who didn't know her well)
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Post by bella on Aug 24, 2009 18:51:45 GMT -5
Bella looked at Leah. It may look like something on the outside, but as long as Jacob and her knew it wasn't that's all that mattered. "It may look like something, but it isn't. We are just friends." Bella couldn't allow it to be anything else. That would be to painful. It would be hard to try and even be more. Bella couldn't let her thoughts get carried away. Even now the whole was burning. Bella couldn't allow this to happen right now. She would have to wait till she was home in her room. Holding herself together. The dreams would not doubt be worse tonight. An endless maze alone. Sometimes Sam was there sometimes he wasn't. It just depended.
Bella was able to hold herself together to some extent. She didn't wrap her arm around herself. It was difficult no one could understand why. At times it felt like she was falling apart. That she was being torn apart. She didn't dare think of why. It would only cause more pain. Bella couldn't smile right now that would be difficult, but she could try to be nice she always was. It depended on what Leah said next.
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Post by Leah Clearwater on Aug 24, 2009 21:35:27 GMT -5
Leah almost rolled her eyes. This wasn't a fun conversation but she wanted to know, just to be in the know. She had over heard Sam talking in low tones to Paul about Jacob the other day. She had been with Emily, and sitting in the far corner. They seemed to wonder about his new friend (Bella) and how Jacob was growing bigger. Leah had thought them weird, but she had learned int he past few months, ever since Sam went missing, that he was weird, and changed. He wasn't HER Sam anymore.
Gritting her teeth, at the thoughts of Sam, Leah changed the topic (at the lest the one going on in her mind). "As I said, I don't think Jake thinks it's nothing. You looked a little close for a 'just friends' type of thing." She persisted.
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Post by bella on Aug 24, 2009 22:40:48 GMT -5
Bella looked at Leah. She was making this more difficult than it should be. "We can be nothing more than friends. It isn't possible." Bella replied trying to no think about it. Of course it was a worthless attempt. The whole that had been burning seemed to grow. Jacob and Bella could be nothing more than friends. She couldn't allow herself. She was broken beyond repair. It would take time, probably never enough time. Bella couldn't think about loving someone else. It would feel like betrayal. She couldn't . . . Bella attempted to calm herself down to try and ease the pain.
It seemed more and more she needed Jacob. He seemed to make the pain go away when she was around. Like her personal sun. It was the truth she needed him. He helped make her life livable. But he wanted more than friendship and she couldn't allow that. Not now maybe not even ever. The thought of him giving up spending his time on someone who would love him pained her. She couldn't lose him. She needed to live. It was pathetic she always needed someone. It would always seem like there was something more between them and no one could understand there couldn't be.
Bella didn't want to look like she was pain, but she was. So much pain any time thoughts like this started it was impossible to not feel the pain. To not think about what had happen. She didn't dare think about the person or the name or the family. She couldn't that would be to much. She couldn't handle that right now. Bella looked at Leah. She was uneasy about what she would say. It was the truth what she was saying. Jacob and her could be nothing more than friends. Even if she didn't believe it.
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