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Post by circeestellelang on Jun 16, 2009 12:31:19 GMT -5
The Masochistic Lion
Edward paced back and forward his topaz eyes fixed on his leather black shoes. Things were getting bad in the Cullen house hold and Edward didn't know how much more he could take. It was killing him slowly from the inside to watch his wife wither away to nothing in front of his eyes for the sake of their baby girl.
Bella's condition was killing her. Their baby was killing her. But the love they both felt for the child was the only thing stopping him from ripping the little bundle of joy from her stomach there and then. Edward banished all thoughts from his head then of the death of there daughter. He no longer wanted to kill it. But he still wasn't happy that it was killing Bella.
Edward feared that maybe by the time their child was born it maybe to late to save Bella. She may already be too far gone, that not even the venom would be able to save her.
This grief and fear of loss was what was driving Edward insane. He couldn't bare to loose her. He had nearly lost her so many times in the past and he knew exactly what he would do if she did die. But then the future of their baby popped into his head. She would be growing up without a father and a mother. She would be raised most likely by Esme and Carlisle. Would he want his baby to never no her parents or at least one of them ?
God, i don't know what to do. Edward thought as he slipped his pale fingers through his messy bronze hair causing it to ruffle up even more.
If something good didn't happen soon, he felt that even his own baby would be ashamed to see the shaken shell of what would be left of Edward Cullen.
-- Alice -- |
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Post by Alice Cullen on Jun 16, 2009 14:16:45 GMT -5
Poor Edward, he was complete reck. Alice understood why, she too did not like seeing Bella like this. But of course it was a lot worse for Edward. He had to watch his wife go through this. And there was no way of convincing her out of having this.... thing! But now Edward was all in to keep it a live. He knew it would probably kill Bella, though. Alice did not understand him. What she hated was being so blind about the whole situation. Alice couldn't see a thing that had to do with the 'baby'. It was as if it were a werewolf... but that possibility was completely out of the question. It really stressed her out, to be blinded like this, and though vampires could not get head aches, Alice could beg to differ.
"Hello Edward." She found him walking back and forth in the thrid floor hallways. |
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Post by circeestellelang on Jun 17, 2009 13:33:16 GMT -5
Edward stopped pacing to violently and turned to face the direction the pixie had entered.
" Hello Alice. " He replied when she greeted him. It had sounded rougher than he had intended it to be and instantly apologized after-wards. There was no need to take out his frustration on his sister when she was only there to calm him and comfort him. Alice was always best when it came to bad situations. Normally, Jasper would obsesses on finding alternatives, Emmett would work out his own frustration in more destructive ways and Rose would constantly think of her own well-being. Alice always seemed to be the one who would go out of her own way to make sure that everyone else was alright before herself.
" Has her condition changed, any ? " He asked quickly suddenly feeling hopeful. It was pointless to feel hopeful when he knew deep down, she would still be the same. But for the first time that day he ignored that pesky voice and faced Alice with bright eyes. |
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Post by Alice Cullen on Jun 17, 2009 21:00:55 GMT -5
Edward was have the worse time, beating himself up was not good. "It's fine, do not be sorry. I understand." There was no need for him to apolagize for her roughness for his tone, Alice understood that he was not in his best spirits these days. It was painful to watch him. It was pain to watch Bella, as she accepted all this pain from her baby as if it were nothing. Alice tried very hard not to think about Bella, her thoughts could make Edward worse.
Eyes full of pity and sadness, Alice looked up at her brother and slowly shook her head once. "No." She verbalized. "It broken an other one of her ribs... I know you probably did not want to hear that..." This whole subject was touchy and confusing. This fetus was only starting to change their lives. "So, how are you?" |
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Post by circeestellelang on Jun 19, 2009 10:44:18 GMT -5
Edward could hear every thought in the house. His head was spinning with the amount of worrying everyone was doing. He was glad no one else could read minds. One look into his head and vampire or not there head would surely explode.
Edward could hear Alice willing herself not to think of the bad things that were happening to Bella, and for that he was very thankful. But when he saw her eyes change he knew the answer he was going to get for his question, wouldn't be what he was wanting to hear. But what he had sadly expected.
Even with his mind bracing for the answer, he still could hold back the jerk his body made as the words left his sisters lips.
" You were right, Alice. I did not want to hear that. But i had to hear it. "
When Alice tried to move the subject away from Bella, Edward again was thankful.
" I'm not as good as i appear to be. " He began. Yes, he did look a wreck but inside things were very different he was falling apart more than he was letting on. Keeping on the facade was fast becoming a challenge. " And i don't appear very well to begin with. I just want her suffering to end. " He finished his voice sounding a lot less strong. |
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Post by Alice Cullen on Jun 19, 2009 19:35:58 GMT -5
 It was not right, seeing Edward this way. His face was twisted and tormented with pain but he managed to put on a smile when he was around Bella. Alice knew it was killing him, just as this fetus was killing his wife. Though Bella was the one enduring physical, excrusiating pain, she took is as if she had simply knocked her knee against a table. It almsot seemed as if Edward was the one enduring the pain, and not his love. He was strong around her, but were she truly examining him, she would see past his mask.
When Edward jerked, Alice was freightened. Frieghtened that what she had just said had caused him to snap and lose it. She was releaved when he spoke, seeming perfectly fine -- as fine as he had been half a second ago. Alice persed her lips, not wanting to say or think anything else about the subject. It was very clearly something that was better off not being conversed.
"I know. So do I." It was very hard to watch Bella like this. "I wish I could tell you that this will end soon... but I haven't had a vision in weeks." |
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Post by circeestellelang on Jun 20, 2009 10:52:51 GMT -5
" I understand. " Edward commented when Alice had told him she had never had a vision in weeks. Edward wondered if that was perhaps due to their baby. Maybe she was, in many ways, like the dogs. Alice couldn't see them and Alice couldn't see the baby. It was terrible to compare his child with that of stinking wolves, but it really was unmistakable. Edward closed his eyes and pulled in an unneeded breath.
" Alice, " He whispered only loud enough for vampire ears. " Do you think that maybe, our baby could be like the dogs ? ". It was almost blasphemy to say this idea out loud. Edward was mentally burning himself. But if there was the slightest chance of discovering what the child could be and why her birth was so strenuous on Bella, he would take it. |
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Post by Alice Cullen on Jun 20, 2009 21:32:27 GMT -5
She gave a sigh. "I have never been so blind... I really dispise it." If only she could get one vision, just one tiny little premonition, anything that could show her anyhting about this thing, Alice would gladly take this blindness with a less negative attitude. But, no luck. She needed to leave the house soon, to clear her mind a little. It did not matter if she did not get a vision when she would leave, all she needed want to get away a little from this all and a little hunting would do her good as well. Alice's chocolate eyes widened in shock at Edward's words. "Absolutely not," She whispered in reply. "If anything, the only thing it-your child could have in common with those disgusting creatures is the fact that I can not see them." There was absolutely no way that this fetus would end up being a werewolf, that geine was past through generations of other wolves. Only way that Bella would be giving brith to a wolf would be if she had... with Jacob. Which was out of the question. And besides, the wolves were born human and born normally like any other human. Bella and Edward's child was not normal so far. [/blockquote] |
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Post by circeestellelang on Jun 25, 2009 13:06:22 GMT -5
Edward nodded solemnly and banished all similar thoughts from his head. It was a hard time for both Bella and himself. The unborn baby was slowly killing her and there was nothing he could do to help. But it was also a confusing time. It was a guess as to what their baby would come out as. It was obvious now that the baby would not be human. From what Edward had witnessed and herd, human baby's don't have the same effect on their birth mothers, that Bella's baby was having on her. It was a guess if the baby would be a vampire or perhaps something else. But really what it all came down to was his wife surviving the birth and so far things were not looking good.
" She can't die. " Edward said more to himself than to Alice, although he meant every word of it. |
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Post by Alice Cullen on Jun 25, 2009 22:37:53 GMT -5
Though Alice could not do as her husband did, she could still feel Edward's pain. Looking at him was enough. Of course, he blamed himself for this, though he should not -- not entirely. Yes, he did render Bella pregnant, but that was an accident no one was aware of even being possible. But he was being too hard on himself because this was much more Bella's fault. She was letting this thing grow inside of her, letting it slowly kill her as she takes it with a grin. She should of let them take it out. Unfortunatly, she went and called Rosalie. Rose had always wanted a child, so was very protective of Bella's. The saddest part was that Rose wanted Bella to not make it after the delivery so she could have the child, though she would never say it, everyone knew that was what she was thinking.
"Edward..." Alice started to speak, but dragged off. "You just need to have faith. She can do it, she has a strong spirit. Perhaps it would help if she could have your faith." Alice proposed. "Again, I wish I could tell you the future, but I can not." She sighed, this blindness drove her mad. "She won't die." She hoped. |
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Post by circeestellelang on Jun 30, 2009 10:37:37 GMT -5
Faith.
That simple 5 letter word was all that he was missing. He had no faith in the situation. He could feel the depression ripping at him from the inside and all other emotions just seemed to succumb to it. Perhaps if he had some faith in Bella's strength and in his own strength and the strength of his entire family ... he could begin to function better.
" Thank you, Alice. " Edward replied in a stronger voice, as he smiled his first genuine smile since his and Bella's last night of their honeymoon on Esme Island. " I believe if i remember to have faith and believe in us all, it may help myself and most importantly help Bella. "
Edward knew that Alice hated being in the dark. And when it came to the life of somebody she loved ... she hated it even more. Edward also knew that Alice was comforting him and making him feel better, yet he hadn't even attempted to make her feel better with regards to her blindness.
" You have done so much for us, Alice. Even with your blindness. I believe that this will also make you stronger. You are comping well with the darkness that surrounds your vision. You are not dependent on it at this point in time. " |
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Post by Alice Cullen on Jun 30, 2009 19:32:40 GMT -5
Alice gave her brother a friendly grin. "You're welcome," She went up to him and gave him a quick hug. "You are very strong, it's painful to see you like this." She pulled back, giving him a smile. "You always put on a brave face; I admire that about you." Alice could not do that, not always.
"I love to help, you know that. And it's really needed right now." She replied, then persed her lips. "Does it really look like I'm coping well with this?" Alice was very puzzled. She had been complaining a bit now and then. She was very stressed out, not only from the blindness, but it didn't help that Jasper was not around. He and Emmett were gone very often to research anything that could have to do with Edward's baby, plus, now that Bella was drinking human blood... it was best to keep Jasper away, but Alice found it hard as well. Luckly Bella drank it fast enough. |
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Post by circeestellelang on Jul 1, 2009 16:41:41 GMT -5
Edward looked at Alice like she had grown and new head and sprouted fuzzy horns. " Of course i think you are doing well. Yes, you have been complaining and a little stressed but that is about all it has amounted. You haven't lost your mind have you ? "
Edward didn't exactly know any other vampires like Alice, but he would expect most of them would be driven insane when presented with a situation like they were in and not be able to depend on their abilities which he had to admit the whole Cullen family, including Alice, did. She was there little pixie seer. Eye of the future ... However cheesy you wanted to go.
Edward listened as Alice thought and flinched when she moved onto the subject of Bella and the human blood. It was unnerving watching his human love slurp down human blood as if it were cola. She shouldn't be drinking it, but the baby seemed to need it. |
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Post by Alice Cullen on Jul 4, 2009 0:34:10 GMT -5
"I wish I had..." Alice sighed. "I honestly think I am starting to have a migrain. I have nothing against you child, but it is making my life very hard to bare with. It's changing so much and it's still inside Bella." She regretted saying that the second she did. Alice sighed again, this time to cool off a little. "I am very sorry, I haven't been myself in a while... Being blind and being separated from Jasper so much, for long periods of time, do not bring out the best in me. Not to mention the scent is getting to me." The blindness was very hard to deal with. The smell of human blood was getting more and more aluring by the minute, and Alice feared she would no longer be a vegetarian vampire by the end of this all. But, being appart from her husband was the hardest. She could only be herself for so long without him, she was a little dependate of him and his company.
Alice looked up at her brother with appolagetic eyes. The subject was a tough one for Edward, he believed that Bella was doing something monsterous, which was only somewhat true -- because she was a human. |
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Post by circeestellelang on Jul 11, 2009 7:03:09 GMT -5
The Masochistic Lion Alice was tough. She was doing so well with everything that was happening but, Edward could see it was becoming harder and harder for her to stay in control. What would it be like when the child ... his child was finally born into a house full of vampires. Would his family be able to cope ? He knew that Carlisle would be able to protect the child, Edward prayed that he would be able to protect the child. But as for the rest of his family, he didn't know how well they would last. " I can see you are not yourself. " He commented after hearing Alice say it herself. He was letting it sink in. " When our child is born, i am positive that you will be with Jasper once again. Everything will be as it was, with one addition. " Edward prayed once again that the family would get used to the child as they got used to Bella. Yes, Jasper had struggled in the beginning but he was better now that he had ever been.
" I think the birth is close now. " Edward continued, not to try and lighten the mood but to comfort Alice with an image of normality ... or as normal as the could possibly get. [/color] |
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Post by Alice Cullen on Jul 13, 2009 19:28:03 GMT -5
A small sigh escaped her, she should not be worrying Edward with her problems; he had more than enough on his own. "Seems like nobody has been theirselves since the beginning of this." It was a sad truth. Rosalie was over protective of Bella, Emmett... well was mostly himslef, but taking a sort of 'body guard' job... Esme was worried sick, Carlisle was uncertain and confused yet amazed and interested, Jasper was being more cautious than usual... Edward was misserable and Alice was stressed out of her mind. Bella was the only one somewhat normal. That girl always tried to make her problems seem invisible and non-exsitant, when everyone in the house knew they could never be.
Alice nodded. "Normal sounds wonderful." She hoped that once the... baby was born, that she would be able to see it -- in the future. " She gave a weak grin that should have been more of a smile in a normal situation. "I am actually a little exsited; I get to be an aunt." Aunt Alice... Auntie Alice? It would be odd and different. It was something she had never though she could be; an aunt. She looked up at her brother. "And you get to be a father." It sounded a lot less enthusiastic as it should have been, as well.
Alice frowned. She wished she could see when the birth would be, but she couldn't. She was a little upset about that, but didn't comment on it. "I hope so." Normal would be wonderful, as she had said.
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Post by circeestellelang on Sept 7, 2009 12:36:59 GMT -5
  
Edward nodded solemnly " I believe you are right. Everyone is effected by this and everyone has changed. " Some more than others, he added in his mind as he picture Rosalie stroking Bella's sweat soaked hair. She had made a connection to Bella. But what Edward didn't know was what her intentions were. Rosalie had always been a bitter sole to Bella. Indeed she sometimes had minor break-though's where the odd nice comment drifted into conversation but mostly Rosalie was bitter in regards to his love. But recently, since Bella had returned from Esme island pregnant, she had changed her mood towards Bella and was now acting as the Mid-wife of sorts. Caring for her and protecting her against everyone when they wanted the 'baby' to be destroyed.
It was unusual to say the least. But Edward had been thinking that maybe it wasn't Bella, Rosalie was protecting. Maybe it was the child growing inside her that she was really looking out for. Perhaps she believed that Bella would not survive the birth and the child would then be thrust upon her, she had always wanted a child after all. Was his sister really that self-centered and vile to have a plan such as the one he suspected?
Even if she did, Edward was going to make sure that it never came to the horrible end result of her plot. Bella would not die.
Edward pulled himself out of his thoughts in time to hear Alice's musing on being an aunt. " Yes, Auntie Alice. Our baby is going to be the best dressed baby in the whole Olympic Peninsula." perhaps even in the country if Alice got her way.
" Normality will come soon. " He added as his mind slipped back into thought. |
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Post by Alice Cullen on Sept 10, 2009 22:34:32 GMT -5
Alice nodded slowly. "It's Esme I am worried about, lately." She admitted, looking the ground for a short second before looking back up at her brother. "She has barely said a word since the start of all of this." Poor Esme must have been torn internally. On one hand, she mostly likely would be worried, but she might also feel great heart ache if any of this reminded her of the child she almost had. Knowing Esme, she would also be wanting to help out in anyway possible to insure everyone was well. Alice had great concern for her adoptive mother; she was very fragile emotionally... was this all too much?
The pixie-like girl grinned, probably the closest thing she had managed to come up with since before the problem. "You are damn right! There is no way my nephew -- or neice -- is going to be wearing anything that isn't top-of-the-line!" She was more exsited about being an aunt the more they spoke about it.
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