|
Post by mrsedwardcullen46 on Jan 10, 2009 2:00:36 GMT -5
Emily listened carefully to what Leah told her, about Sam's thoughts. She never knew that Sam thought about her that much. She knew that he was still feeling guilty over what he did to her and to this day, she tried everything possible to stop that. She didn't want him to feel guilty, she forgave him for it.
And then, Leah continued, telling her that Sam thought about Leah at times too. Hearing that did hurt her. Partly because she hated the fact that her and Sam had hurt her that way. And the other reason, that she thought of right now was.. what if being around Leah would make Sam feel like he did when they were together before.. especially now that they were both wolves. It always had been a thought in her mind, but she never really thought about it until now.
Leah was right though. She had been through everything with Sam when he turned into a werewolf. She was there for him when he needed her. And then I came along and everything went downhill. Suddenly, Emily got a little angry. Emily was never known to get angry but she was at the moment. "It isn't my fault that he imprinted on me, Leah!" She paused for a moment, to compose herself. Getting upset wasn't going to help, she already knew this. "Look, I'm sorry for everything.. every small pain that Sam or I caused you. I'm sorry for coming to La Push after exams and meeting Sam. I'm sorry that Sam imprinted on me and hurt you. I'm sorry that you have to hear Sam think about me all the time." She paused and looked down at the ground. "I live through the pain of hurting you, every single day. I see Sam and it reminds me of you.. and how much we hurt you." Emily admitted. "I wish we were friends again, Leah. That somehow we can go back to the way we used to be.. or at least, close to it."
(Okay, so, somehow I feel that I screwed up Emily's history with the last paragraph of this post so if I did, tell me and I'll fix it up! I don't have the books here to look to see if I'm right or not so it may be right but it may not. Sorry!)
|
|
|
Post by Leah Clearwater on Jan 11, 2009 0:36:13 GMT -5
(It's perfect!!)
Damn it, now she felt guilty. "Look, Em, I don't feel bad for you. You won, you got the boy, the house, and the life I wanted---" No, not the life. Emily was more or less hidden here from the world because of her face. Leah sighed, her anger going at that. Em had seemed the type to want to go places, and do things and now she was here.
"I don't want to fight with you. I came here to help, not make things worse between us. So ummm....Sorry for letting it out."
|
|
|
Post by mrsedwardcullen46 on Jan 13, 2009 1:26:10 GMT -5
Emily looked down to the ground."Leah, I got your life. Or some of it anyways." She paused to run her fingertips down her scar on her arm. "When I first knew that Sam imprinted on me, I didn't feel anything for him. Because he was yours. You were supposed to win and I'm sorry for that. You don't even know how sorry I am for that."
Then, Emily looked back up to Leah. "It's okay. Don't be sorry. I thought this would help us get closer again. And I guess it didn't really work out that great." Emily walked over to the baking sheet that had the cookies still on it. "Would you like one?" Emily asked with a small smile.
|
|
|
Post by Leah Clearwater on Jan 13, 2009 1:48:13 GMT -5
Leah just nodded her head. "No offense Em, but I don't see us ever being, like we were again." Leah didn't mean it harshly, just honestly which somehow was worse. When Em offered her a cookie, Leah took it. "Thanks."
"Is Sam expected anytime soon?" Leah hoped not. She could stay and talk to Emily, but wasn't ready to stay and talk to Emily and Sam together. Handling them apart was hard enough. Seeing them together often made her a new level of hurt and angry, Emily didn't need to be around her then. Sam had done enough damage to her face.
|
|
|
Post by mrsedwardcullen46 on Jan 13, 2009 20:08:00 GMT -5
“Doesn’t hurt to hope.” Emily mumbled. Emily handed Leah a cookie and when Leah asked if Sam was coming home soon, she looked up at the clock. “He should be around here in about an hour with the boys, for lunch. You should stay too.” She tried, to keep Leah around because she knew that Leah would probably leave if Sam was around. “I made enough for everyone in the pack.” She added, in case Leah said that she didn’t make enough.
|
|
|
Post by Leah Clearwater on Jan 14, 2009 1:12:09 GMT -5
Leah wasn't going to beat around the bush by saying there might not be enough food. Leah knew there might not be enough being they all ate a ton, but that was beside the point. "I don't think it would help things, to have that much emotion in a room with you here." Meaning she didn't think she could keep from phasing and even if Sam could stop her, she didn't want to deal with him unless it was on patrol. "I will just eat my cookie and leave before he gets ho--back." Leah had been about to say home but couldn't get the word out.
|
|
|
Post by mrsedwardcullen46 on Jan 15, 2009 2:42:14 GMT -5
Emily nodded, silently. She knew exactly what she meant by that. Leah thought she would probably phase when she saw her and Sam together. “I.. I understand.” She said, softly. “I really do wish that you could stay though. Oh well, maybe one of these days.. when you can control yourself more.” She paused for a long moment. “You should take some chili home with you, if you want to.”
|
|
|
Post by Leah Clearwater on Jan 15, 2009 2:48:12 GMT -5
Leah was beginning to feel guilty for upsetting Emily. Which annoyed her. Which angered her. "I didn't mean to hurt your feels there, it's just the truth." Leah said trying to excuse her behavior. Emily had been her best friend and she owed it to Ems to not be a royal bitch to her when Ems was at lest trying but every time Leah thought of Emily and Sam her anger took over and she wasn't Emily's best friend.
She was the bitter ex who had her life stolen from her then turned into a wolf who could imprint. Leah wanted to imprint if only to move on past this. To be calmer and free of this life.
|
|
|
Post by mrsedwardcullen46 on Jan 15, 2009 22:52:07 GMT -5
Emily shook her head. "It's okay, Leah. I understand. Really, I do. You didn't hurt my feelings." She paused to look down at the ground again. "But like I said, I want us to go back to the way we were.. or something close to it, at least. I want you to be my best friend again. I would love to have someone to gossip with again, you know? Not gossip about Sam.. but about anything that comes to mind.. like we used too."
|
|
|
Post by Leah Clearwater on Jan 16, 2009 22:24:46 GMT -5
"Maybe you should get out of this house more then. Make new friends, visit old ones." Leah suggested since she doubted that Emily and her self would ever be that way again. Leah still felt betrayed. Even if Sam did not have a choice because of the imprinting thing. Emily did. She had the choice. She chose Sam over Leah.
"You could get a job cooking somewhere. You like to cook, why not do it for money, instead of over sized teenage boys, who can't stop thinking of cheerleaders or some sort."
|
|
|
Post by mrsedwardcullen46 on Jan 19, 2009 0:48:00 GMT -5
"I can't, Leah. Not without people questioning my scars. Besides, I'm happy where I am now." She admitted to Leah. The old friends she had were back from college and she hadn't talked to them in quite a while. They probably knew nothing of her 'bear attack'. And if she made new ones, they would still question her about it, even if they knew about the 'bear attack'.
"You're right, Leah. I do like to cook. But it doesn't matter where I am. I'm here right now, cooking for the boys. Because those boys are my family. I couldn't think of leaving them to get a job somewhere to do what I love best when I'm doing it right here." She tried to explain to Leah. She was happy. Period.
|
|
|
Post by Leah Clearwater on Jan 21, 2009 0:04:20 GMT -5
"If you told them you don't want to talk about, then they would stop asking." Leah said, "Besides, if you got a job, and saved up money you could afford surgery to get them removed or something." Leah tossed her shoulder in a shrug. "Look, I know it's not my place and all. I am not saying leave S-sam or anything."
"You once had dreams. You went to school, and were going to become a chef and all this. Now you hide away and cook for over sized boys."
|
|
|
Post by mrsedwardcullen46 on Jan 23, 2009 23:50:30 GMT -5
"I know Leah. But I like my life right now. It may not have been my dream but it's something close to it. I have things in my life now that I never imagined that I would." She paused. Part of her, wanted to go get a job so she could become a chef but there weren't any places in La Push where she would be close to Sam and the boys still. She would probably have to go to Seattle and find a job there and she just couldn't. She would be working every night, she wouldn't be able to spend time with anyone.
|
|
|
Post by Leah Clearwater on Jan 24, 2009 1:57:28 GMT -5
"Something close to it?" Leah repeated slowly in mild shock. "At what point was ANY of THIS anywhere near to close to your dreams?!" Leah thought Emily was just lieing to her now. FINE! Let her pretend. Whatever helps her sleep at night. It wasn't Leah's problem anymore.
"Don't answer that. I don't want to know." Part of Leah was also afraid to find out if Sam had bee apart of that dream. So much for cute shy Jason or whatever his name was. Leah shook her head slowly. This sucked.
|
|
|
Post by mrsedwardcullen46 on Jan 25, 2009 0:15:38 GMT -5
"Just being able to cook for people, period, is something close to it. And S-" Leah started talking again and told her not to answer, although she had already started. Emily looked at her for a few moments, trying to see what she was thinking using her facial expressions. "Jason was never part of my dream, Leah. He was just a stupid little crush that I had.." Emily didn't want to continue on because it would only cause Leah to hurt more and she didn't want that.
|
|
|
Post by Leah Clearwater on Jan 27, 2009 0:44:54 GMT -5
Leah mentally thought about how Emily's dreams seemed to changed majorly when she came back to La Push. Leah remembered almost begging Emily to come to La Push again. Meet Sam. Be my maid of honor. Leah felt her mouth go dry and she tasted a metallic bitter taste in her mouth. Emily had been her best friend. No man was supposed to come between them.
Apparently that was just more dreams they'd left in their past. Leah gave a shrug of her shoulders, and no reply.
|
|
|
Post by mrsedwardcullen46 on Jan 27, 2009 23:47:02 GMT -5
Emily watched Leah's facial expressions and couldn't tell what she was thinking but she knew it was something she didn't want to think about because she had an angry or upset face. She was going to say something but she stopped herself, thinking it may only make things worse. Emily stayed silent and walked over to the stove and stirred both chilies, so the chili wouldn't stick to the bottom. She turned off the heat, since the chilies were ready and moved both of them to the other burners so it would be off the heat.
Once done, she turned back to Leah. "Would you like some?" She asked, trying to fill the silence with something.. anything.
|
|
|
Post by Leah Clearwater on Jan 31, 2009 0:32:43 GMT -5
Leah looked up at what Emily was offering and gave a short nod. "Sure." She said only half aware of what she was taking and doing. She was still trying not to phase or think about what they had just been speaking about. She was trying so hard to not think about it, she was only thinking about not thinking about thinking about. . . it.
Ok, all that thinking confused her enough to calm down some. Leah shook her head to clear it and then picked up her spoon and took a small bite. "This is good."
|
|