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Post by carlisle on Dec 15, 2008 23:00:00 GMT -5
Once everyone had left them alone Carlisle sighed. "It seems I am forever saying sorry to you Bella," He started off trying to be gentle in his words as well as when holding her arm. "First Alice makes this our to be a huge deal and then we ruin your day for you."
It had been only moments since she had cut her finger, and Jasper his son who had the most trouble, had snapped at her. At lest Emmett had gotten to him in time. Edward might have hurt him. "I do hope this will not make a bad impression of Jasper to you. He dose try so hard."
((Bella Only For Now))
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Post by bella on Dec 15, 2008 23:13:09 GMT -5
Bella couldn't believe how fast everything had happened she was opening a present one second and the next she was being tossed across the room. She held her breath as Carlisle worked on her arm she didn't want get sick now.
This did make a bad impression on Jasper, not at all. It was no big deal just a little cut. "Of course not," Bella understood it was hard for him. Just like for Edward with her blood it was a constant thing. She didn't understand the thirst, but she knew it was difficult. "You all try so hard so I can be around. I'm grateful for that," Bella said this with a smile.
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Post by carlisle on Dec 16, 2008 12:59:10 GMT -5
Carlisle gave her a kind smile as he probed around in her arm for more glass. "Jasper's life has never been easy for him. Right now I expect he is under control but to embarrassed to face you. He takes his actions very seriously. He likes to always have him self under control." Pulling a larger slit of glass from her arm he gave her another soft smile as if to say sorry every time it hurt her. The smell of the blood did not bother him. Not as it had this family, but he had years more of practice.
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Post by bella on Dec 16, 2008 23:10:24 GMT -5
Bella listen to Carlisle paying attention to each word. She was trying to ignore the smell of her own blood and the sting that came with each glass piece that came out. "I have noticed he seems to be under control most of the time," Bella said trying to keep the conversation going while Carlisle worked on her arm.
Every time Bella had seen Jasper he always seemed to stay a bit aways, but under control. She wonder how Carlisle was able to do this day after day treating humans and dealing with their blood. She remembered Edward telling her about Carlisle's history he never once had human blood. Something to distract her, anything. "Why do you think it is you have so much self-control?" Bella asked curious.
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Post by carlisle on Dec 17, 2008 1:00:33 GMT -5
"He is learning. With time he will handle things as he wants to. Alice tells us so all the time. We know know better then to doubt her." He chuckled at the statement knowing Bella would understand. "Perhaps it is because I am so used to the smell. It was not always so easy for me. I have had many many many more years experience fighting the feeling. Working in the hospital helps. You get used to the smell, after being around it so much for so long." [/center]
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Post by bella on Dec 17, 2008 11:13:08 GMT -5
"So it's not difficult for you at all?" Bella questioned. It was interesting being the only one who could with stand to be around human blood, she wondered if he wasn't around it so much if he would stop being immune, probably not. She was curious, but partly wanted a distraction. She watched Carlisle's face to help keep the distraction.
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Post by carlisle on Dec 18, 2008 19:40:27 GMT -5
"It's hard, even for me." He told her as he worked. "It's like fighting the urge the scratch, when you have poison ivy." Not that he had ever had it but as a doctor he knew how it went, "The more you hold back, and try to resist the greater the urge can get."
"It's easier for me, then the others, however it's still something I have to control." He hoped that explained her. "Working in the hospital helps. Knowing I am saving people."
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Post by bella on Dec 18, 2008 20:11:34 GMT -5
"You enjoy your work?" Bella asked. She didn't really ever talk to Carlisle and was always fasinated by him. He had so much self-control and all of the Cullen's looked up to him. The history of his life was just as interesting how he refused to drink human blood.
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Post by carlisle on Dec 18, 2008 20:49:07 GMT -5
"Yes," He answered honestly. "I enjoy knowing what I am, can be used to help people and not hurt them. I enjoying meeting people and speaking with them." Yes, Carlisle like to talk to people. He liked being able to say he was not a monster and not evil. That instead of being the thing that went bump in the night, he was the thing that saved them. Helped them.
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Post by bella on Dec 18, 2008 22:41:59 GMT -5
Bella smiled at Carlisle he always seemed to nice and polite to the people around. She wonder what it was like to be a vampire. She had often wonder this and wanted it so she could be with Edward forever. What she wouldn't give to be like them, to be immortal with Edward. She smiled at the thought.
She tried not to look at her cut as Carlisle fixed her up. "Are you almost done?" Bella asked focusing her attention back to the present. What had just happened made her wonder would she really want to be like, blood thirsty? Would her human emotions still exist, her love for Edward?
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Post by carlisle on Dec 18, 2008 22:52:19 GMT -5
"I just need to stitch it. Almost done. I am sorry it took so long but I wanted to make sure all the class was out of the cut." He pulled out of thread and a very sharp needle. "What will you tell your father, when he asks about your arm?" He wondered if he should fake the paper work from the hospital or if Charlie would believe whatever Bella's story was.
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Post by carlisle on Dec 18, 2008 22:52:33 GMT -5
"I just need to stitch it. Almost done. I am sorry it took so long but I wanted to make sure all the class was out of the cut." He pulled out of thread and a very sharp needle. "What will you tell your father, when he asks about your arm?" He wondered if he should fake the paper work from the hospital or if Charlie would believe whatever Bella's story was.
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Post by bella on Dec 18, 2008 22:57:35 GMT -5
Bella thought about it for a moment. What was most likely to happen to her. She's always tripping and falling down that seemed like a reasonable reason. "I'll tell I'm tripped and fell. I'm always doing that, he'll believe me." Bella said this with certainty. She had so many accidents that Charlie didn't really keep up with every scrape or bruise she had.
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Post by carlisle on Dec 18, 2008 23:13:56 GMT -5
He smiled at her. "If you sure, then I will not worry. I would hate for him not to allow you over because he thinks we're bullying you." He gave her a wink to show her he was joking and finished her arm up. "Don't move just yet. I want to wrap it up."
He did that, while the room was silent. "There, your good to go. Your arm will hurt later, put some ice on it. Keep it wrapped and clean."
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Post by bella on Dec 18, 2008 23:21:11 GMT -5
"He'll believe me," Bella assured Carlisle. She smiled brightly knowing he was joking. "Thanks Carlisle and I'll be sure to put some ice on it." Bella looked at her bandaged arm she had much worse. James came to mind, that was probably the worse she had.
She quickly vanished the thought of James and looked toward the door where the others had gone. She hoped Jasper was okay, he probably felt horrible. She hoped Edward had gotten to him like they had suggested for him to go when it was to much for him to be around her.
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Post by carlisle on Dec 19, 2008 0:53:08 GMT -5
Noting where she was looking, he smiled. "Let them get sent out of their heads before joining them. They will come back when they can handle them self's. Edward, I believe has gone to make sure Jasper is fine. He will take this hard."
Carlisle started cleaning up, and removing the blood and the smell with bleach. "You can sit and rest your arm while we wait for them."
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Post by bella on Dec 19, 2008 10:53:46 GMT -5
Bella nodded her head. She really hoped that Jasper didn't feel to bad about this, and she hoped the others were okay as well. This wasn't some small thing, but it was in the past she was okay and their lives could go on like normal. At least that's what she hoped.
She saw Carlisle cleaning and wanted to help in some way. "Do you need any help?" Bella asked willing to help in any way.
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Post by carlisle on Dec 20, 2008 22:56:24 GMT -5
He smiled at her, "No thank you Bella, You should rest your arm." He put anything with blood on it in a glass bowl. "Don't worry about this, we will get it cleaned up and the smell gone in no time."
"Bella, might I ask you a question? I was wondering, about your plans for the future." He wanted to know what he could expect from Edward, mainly, but he also carried about what Bella's plans and feelings were.
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Post by bella on Dec 20, 2008 23:08:01 GMT -5
Her plans consisted of her being with Edward forever. Being one of them, but Edward was against and wouldn't even consider it. He wouldn't give in and she wouldn't give up. It was something that came up occasionally and neither of them were happy with the outcome, because it would always come up later. If she was a vampire the things like this wouldn't happen. She wouldn't be a magnet for disaster as Edward liked to put it. She wondered if Edward had mention any of this to his family. This of course was her plan A. Her plan B was to go to graduate high school and then go to college. But she wasn't going to give up plan A easily.
"Well," Bella said starting off with plan B. "I'm planning on going to college," she really hadn't done any research and wasn't to concerned on which college she was going to as long as it was with Edward. Maybe someday he would change his mind and change her. "But," Bella started not to sure how Carlisle would react to her wanting to be a vampire. Would he be as strongly against it as Edward? She didn't say any more as she looked at Carlisle.
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Post by carlisle on Dec 20, 2008 23:24:32 GMT -5
Carlisle gave her a short half smile as she said 'but'. For a moment he wondered what that but would be but then he knew what she wanted. His smile did not fade or change to let her know he seemed to know what she meant. He thought for a moment on the conversation she would not know about.
Where Alice had seen Bella as one of them, and how she would be his adopted daughter in some way, one day. He also saw Edward's reaction in his mind. The anger and the fear. It worried him that this might be want she wanted. How would this play out? He had never thought about changing someone who did not need the change in order to live. Would it be fair to them? Did Bella understand what she wanted?
"But what Bella?" He said, wanting her to say what he knew she would say.
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Post by bella on Dec 20, 2008 23:43:40 GMT -5
Bella took a deep breath, "But I want to be one of you." Bella whispered, but knew he could hear her. She looked at Carlisle wondering what his reaction would be. Would it be angry like Edward, who wanted to experience all of the human experiences and not miss out on anything. Or would he understand where she was coming from wanting to be with Edward forever. Each day she grew older, her dream from the morning was still fresh. She would just keep getting older father away from Edward's perfect seventeen body. She would die one day and wouldn't be able to be with him forever. She watched and waited for his response.
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Post by carlisle on Dec 21, 2008 21:31:21 GMT -5
He face showed no shock. He had known this is what she would have asked. Taking a slow deep breath he gave her what he hoped was a kind smile, "Edward is slightly against this plan." He said with a knowing look and a slight chuckle as if it was funny. Edward loved his Bella to much to risk this life on her.
"Edward, believes that when he become--what we are," He said trying to leave out the word Vampire, "that we lose our souls."
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Post by bella on Dec 21, 2008 22:20:12 GMT -5
"Is that all he's worried about?" Bella asked without thinking it through. Sure that was something to worry about, but if she had choose between her soul and being with Edward forever she would choose Edward. There was no question in her mind what she would choose. What was Edward so worried about this?
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Post by carlisle on Dec 21, 2008 22:27:17 GMT -5
Carlisle smiled at her question. "Bella, that is a big deal to him. Exchange places if you will. Would you risk his soul?" He explained it from Edwards point of view. "I am not sure if he has other worries, but this is a big one. He believe you would be giving up Heaven in order to be with him, and he is not willing to risk it."
"Perhaps with time, you and he can talk about it, and find a way to middle ground." But he was sure there was no middle ground for this. "I would love to have you in the family Bella, however, I would wonder if you knew what you were giving up, and wonder if that would be fair for you."
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Post by bella on Dec 22, 2008 19:12:22 GMT -5
Bella thought about it for a moment. No she wouldn't trade Edward's soul, but how could someone like Edward not have a soul or even Carlisle it didn't seem possible. "No, I don't think I could," Bella stated with a frown it was nice to know where Edward was coming from, but still. "How could someone like Edward, or you not have a soul?" Bella questioned not seeing how they couldn't.
Middle ground would be hard to find with Edward. Did she really know all that she was giving up? To be immortal to be with Edward forever? Just to be with Edward forever she would give up anything. She doubt she would find middle ground with Edward anytime soon he was against it and she wasn't giving up. It was even neither one was yielding. But maybe sometime soon they would.
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Post by carlisle on Dec 24, 2008 0:07:45 GMT -5
"Edward believe we do not. No one knows for sure if we do or not." He replied, "Most humans describe a soul as something every living thing has. In order to become a one of us..." He trialed of not wanting to finish it. Carlisle thought they had souls. However if you thought about it the way you were taught then being they had to die to become the un-dead vampires, they would have forfeit their souls to do so. He wanted to say more, but also wanted most of this conversation to be between, Bella and Edward.
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Post by bella on Dec 26, 2008 18:42:22 GMT -5
Bella dropped the subject understanding this was something he did not want to talk about right now. Her thoughts refocus on Jasper she hoped he was okay and wasn't beating himself to hard on what happened. She was alive just a little cut she's had worse. "Do you think Jasper will really be okay?" Bella asked changing subjects.
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Post by carlisle on Dec 26, 2008 19:05:54 GMT -5
Noticing her change of the subject he was both relived and slightly worried about how she was taking what he said. "Jasper will be fine. Once his head clears, which I am sure it's clear now, he will be embarrassed, and Edward will calm him down and they both shall come back soon." At lest Edward would. "It's harder on Jasper. Always has, but we all know he tries very hard. Especially for Alice."
Carlisle smiled, thinking of how Jasper had trouble with allot of things, but he tried and pushed him self for Alice. Carlisle liked to think Jasper was happy here, liked to think he would have stayed if Alice wasn't in the picture.
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Post by bella on Dec 27, 2008 23:29:14 GMT -5
Bella wonder if this was going to change anything. Would she still be allowed over here she would stay away if it wouldn't cause any tension between the family. She would miss everyone she hoped this small accident didn't affect anything. "Do you think..." Bella started but stopped unsure of how to ask her question. "...this will change anything?" Bella asked she had seen Edward's face before he left. She certainly hoped her fears were nothing just her over reacting.
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Post by carlisle on Dec 28, 2008 15:56:38 GMT -5
Carlisle thought for a moment and tried to sound as if he was sure. "I can not begin to know what Edward is thinking. He is very protective of you. I can say for sure, you will always be welcome in our home, and we will not change how we think of you Bella." However, they both knew Edward might want to protect her and keep her away from the house for a few days or weeks.
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